Thanks and Apologies

As I mentioned in a previous post - I was in a pretty dark place after my divorce. I really don't know what I would've done if Todd wasn't around to keep me sane. Sometimes I felt like I was barely hanging on. We recently spoke about how thankful I am to him for keeping me busy and and out of trouble (most of the time). He did not realize what an emotional wreck I was at the time (I hope no one did, I am not embarrassed - but I want no one's pity)

I don't know what I would've done if Anne didn't put up with me being a third wheel. I am sure sometimes she felt she couldn't go out with Todd without going out with me. Thanks for your tolerance of my awkward attempts at being funny or clever. I know that there were times that I failed. Thanks for indulging me when I flirted with you, 99.9% of the time* I was playing. (I know there  were times I failed there also, I'm sorry for the times I made you uncomfortable). Thanks for welcoming me into your circle of friends. Thanks for all the little things you did that helped me get over my uneasiness in looking for a new love in my life. When I got divorced I lost my best friend as well as my wife, I needed to re-learn how to build friendships beyond the "bunch of guys" I already hung out with. You were the first new friend I made outside of that circle. I know you don't realize it, but, having you (more than anyone else) as a friend helped me get out of my funk.

To the both of you, I'm sorry about the toast at your wedding. I've never told anyone this but I was very anxious that day. I was worried that you two would leave me behind. I was steeling my nerve to finally tell Leanne that I loved her (which I did at your reception) Every time I wrote a toast it sounded like I was Anne's jealous ex-boyfriend and Todd was my rival (which of course wasn't true).I chose the only slightly less awkward route - no speech - just a toast (and a lame one, as I was winging it) It turns out your wedding day was a turning point in my life, I really didn't know what was going to happen with Leanne, or my job, or my life. Anne, thanks for not noticing (pretending not to notice?) that I was crying while dancing with you - it was weird- I felt like I was giving you away.