I'm Still Clueles

     On the Metra train, on most cars, the two seats adjacent to the vestibule face each other. I prefer sitting there because I get a little more space. (due to the distance between the seats, it isn't practical for someone to sit directly across from you, so usually 2 people sit "kitty-corner") So, I was riding the train to work this morning, sitting in my regular seat (quiet car- near the door). As often as not the same woman sits across from me (she got on at Villa Park or Lombard, I wasn't paying attention) At Elmhurst someone else squeezed in and my "bubble" got a little smaller. I made sure to give the two ladies as much space as I could - I made sure not to let my knees touch the woman sitting across from me (I don't want to be thought of as rude or creepy). Anyway, the situation was a catalyst to setting loose of a number of thoughts, I couldn't concentrate on what I was reading - I put away the tablet and closed my eyes and thought:

     Am I more clueless than most when it comes to dealing with women in social situations? Am I really that socially awkward? or does everyone feel as uncertain as I do?

     It's funny, for whatever reason, I almost never feel this way with co-workers or customers. I put on my "Harrison" hat and the lines are well defined and I know what to do/how to act/ what to say. The same with anyone I know well, I can let my proverbial hair down and not worry too much. On occasion, I may commit a faux pas or embarrass myself - but usually the consequences are minor. at other times I feel as clueless as I did as a teenager. 

     Here are summaries of the situations that rattled around in my brain this morning:

    While house dad at a sorority (separate story) I got a call to address an issue one of the residents was having with her clogged bathroom sink. So I grabbed my toolbox and some 'liquid plummer' and went upstairs to take a look. I knocked on the door and a voice from inside let me know that the door wasn't locked and to come in. I let myself in. She was sitting on the floor. It looked like she had just taken a shower; her hair was wet, she was wearing a bathrobe, the room was pleasantly humid and smelled of shampoo. She was sitting with kind of an odd posture, one knee was up, with her foot flat on the floor, the other was to the side (so she could reach her toes? was she getting ready to polish them?). I greeted her as I walked in. She looked up and smiled and thanked me for rushing up. None of the other three girls that shared the suite appeared to be home. I asked a couple of questions and went over to the bathroom to get to work. Here are the things I didn't (and still don't) understand:

• Because of  the way she was sitting, I'm pretty sure she could't display more of her most intimate anatomy to me if she tried. In addition, her robe was only loosely tied, her chest was clearly visible as well.
• Was she unaware that she was essentially naked? Was she just not self-conscious (at all)? Did it just not matter because I lived there (who is concerned if the cat sees you nude?)
• If she was aware, did she loose a bet? or was this some sorority ritual thing? or was she just trying to have some fun at my expense?
• Was she making a pass at me?! 

I acted as if I didn't notice, mentally shook my head and said thanks to the universe for the feast my eyes received, and proceeded to check the sink. There was nothing wrong with the sink. There was no standing water, no 'ring' to indicate there was recently standing water (it was clean - didn't even look like it was used recently) I ran some water to check if it was draining properly (no problems). I let her know that everything is now working 'ok' and went on with the rest of my day.

*****

     This reminded me of the situation up in Lake Geneva, That night was she humoring me? Having fun at my expense? What did she tell the other folks at the party that they thought was so funny? Did Henna exaggerate what Senna told her or did Senna say we got friendlier than we actually did? Why? At the time I liked getting attention from such a beautiful woman, but now I question what the heck was going on.

*****

     I was also reminded of an encounter I had at work. It had to have been 2001 or 2002; I remember I was living in Carol Stream, and because of who I ran into.  I had attended some work event for my sales team and was catching a late train from Union Station when I ran into Gina (Sheena)  in the waiting area. She was on my sales team at the time and was at the same event earlier. I was surprised to see her:

    "If I knew you were taking the train home tonight, I would've offered to share the cab over."

     She explained that she usually doesn't take the train, but was staying with her folks for a while. They lived in Itasca. We proceeded to chat. The 9:40 train pulled out a minute or two before and we had an hour to kill. I think she was uncomfortable being alone at the station. Anyway, nothing happened, just a pleasant conversation and I got to know her a little better. 

     A few days later I ran into Sheena in the elevator*. I know that I was just thinking too much of it - but she stood about three inches from me. We were the only ones in the elevator, why was she standing so close? We chatted about the other day, she thanked me for keeping her company. We reached the ground floor, she gave me a little wave goodbye and went wherever it was she was going. 

     Why did this bug me? Why was I so flustered? Was she toying with me? Was she flirting with me? Was I imagining the whole thing? Is a pretty girl actually talking to me such a rare occurrence that I am am completely unprepared? Why do I still remember such a trivial encounter 15 years later?

 *I had read somewhere that elevators are one of the places where women can feel uncomfortable/threatened, so I was in the habit of keeping to myself when riding an elevator with a woman. I don't start conversations (I'll be polite and respond if she says hi or whatever) I don't get between her and the door, I stay in sight etc. - I don't want to be creepy)