(Fiction) Fred and the Elf: Chapter 2

Fred and the Elf: Chapter 2

Journal Day 47: It took weeks to cross the desert. My Elf guide says we'll be at the trading post in two or three more days. Every day we hiked, we worked on language skills, and Ms. Elf continued teaching me to 'move properly', in her words. How to walk silently and without leaving footprints in the sand. How to breathe without making a sound. How to be in one place one instant, and leap or dodge to be in another place the next instant. It was excruciating training, especially in the heat. The net result; I was in the best shape of my life. I'd probably lost forty pounds of fat and gained twenty back in muscle. I could march for hours in the heat, I felt strong, and I could move like a frickin' ninja. I know that there's no way this drastic of a change should occur in only a month or so; it must be the spells and potions that allowed for it to happen. Muscle gets torn up from exercise and healed by magic (stronger than before). I'd march until I was exhausted, take a potion and then march some more. That's the same as day one, but now we cover twenty miles or more; at a sprint, before I need another dose of <stamina> , when we started I could barely walk a mile or two before needing a dose.


     Magic sure is convenient: spells to get clean, spells to get ripped, spells to erase pain, potions to heal injuries, spells to keep bad critters away, spells to mask our presence, enchanted sleeping bags that feel like sleeping on a cloud and pack to the size of my fist, 'bags of holding' that allow a tiny elf girl to haul hundreds of pounds of gear...in a purse, potions to erase my weariness, conjured water. If I could bring some of this stuff back...it would be awesome. Heck, with magic, if I don't feel like it, I don't have to get out of bed to pee.
     I let 'Ms.Elf' know (like almost every morning) that I had to take care of my morning business, I guess she was extra sleepy because she didn't even move her head, just sort of flicked her finger in the air and, 'poof', done. Magic is great.
     Hold on a second...
     "Hey, Honey?" I asked.
     "Hmm?"
     "I think that I am going to be furious with you!" I exclaimed as I roughly pushed her off me, and started getting out of the sleeping bag.
     "whazzamatter? Stay with me...it's cold, and I'm still sleepy..."
     "Then cast <refresh> or whatever, and get your ass up!"
     "Why are you so upset?" She asked, as she waved a hand and briefly glowed.
     "You've been molesting me!"
     "What?"
     "You don't need to reach into my pants to cast the spell! What else have you been doing to me unnecessarily?!"
     "It isn't like that..."
     "Then explain!"
     "If I were going to whitewash a barn, I could get a bucket of paint and splash it on the walls. The job would get done, but it would be sloppy and wasteful. It's better to use a paintbrush, right?"
     "Your point?"
     "Just now, I used a bucket. Usually I use a brush...I want to get out of the desert and we pushed harder than usual yesterday, and I stayed up late to formulate potions, which takes a lot out of me...It's cold and I was still half asleep. Sorry"
     "Fine. Fine. I get it, I'm sorry, I'm on edge.  This monotony, the 'nothing but sand', is getting to me. I'm sorry for snapping at you. Why don't you load up on <stamina> too today, and we'll get out of here?"
     "I wish; but, the potions I make don't work on me." She pulled breakfast out of her bag, we started chewing on the 'iron rations' as we talked. "One of the core principles of magic is 'sympathetic correspondence', specifically when making potions, or enhancement type magic items, or talismans. When I formulate a potion I'm trying to make it have an effect that is similar to a core property of an ingredient. I amplify that property and 'poof'; magic potion. <Stamina> is a potion that is based on the association of 'nutrition providing energy' as the core property of the main ingredient."
     "So the main ingredient is...food?"
     "The quintessential food, the essence of food, the primal food."
     "I don't understand."
     "What is the first food anyone eats?"
     "...?"
     "I'll give you a clue, elves are mammals, and these aren't just for decoration." She said, while proudly displaying her chest.
     I swallowed what was in my mouth; it took some effort, I nearly did a comical 'spit take' upon realizing that over the last few weeks I had probably consumed  gallons upon gallons of elven breast milk. "So because it's from you, you don't benefit from <stamina>? I feel terrible now, I've been literally living off of your vitality..."
     "It was necessary, and it doesn't bother me. It is in the nature of Fey, that some potions are made from 'ourselves'. It's part of the reason we're in the alliance. The Sorcerer-priests sought elves and other Fey to harvest components for potions, they hunted us nearly to extinction. Remember how I said before that there are no longer any elf-men? The Sorcerer-priests thought they could extend their lifespans with elixirs made from our blood and bodies, we are a long-lived race after all."
     "And that alliance, the pact, you have with villages on the forests' edges, and why you fight..."
     "It started as a case of: 'the enemy of my enemy can become my friend'. Long ago a bunch of vengeful elf-maidens joined forces with a group of Anthropoi who were terrorized by the < untranslatable -goblin> horde. With the aid of spirits a symbiotic relationship formed. Elves and people need each other and fought together to eradicate <goblins> from the continent and to purge the land of our common enemies. We thought that the war is nearly over, but, the minions of the last Sorcerer-Priest once again roam the land. We Fey who thought we were safe in our hidden enclaves are again being hunted. No one know to what end; however, the <goblins>  and their ilk are not of this world, and it is likely that their summoner must pay some price to the Master of the Gates, perhaps that price is elven blood? The Hero was summoned to help us take on the last, and worst, of the Sorcerer-priests, and I am doing my part, to avenge my fallen ancestors and protect my kin, and to make sure the Hero can return home when it's over. It doesn't hurt me to sustain you, but even if it did, that wouldn't deter me."
      I reached over and embraced her, she propped herself on my lap. "Thank you. I know that you're doing your duty; but, I means a great deal to me that you're doing so much for me, so that I can go back to my family too."
     "You must miss them very much."
     "I do, but I also know that, if everything goes right, they won't notice I was gone. I feel a little guilty that, assuming I survive, I will have had a grand adventure, and, well, I guess I'm wistful that I won't be believed if I try and tell them about it."
     "I'm pretty sure that they'll know something is up. We'll make sure that they can't see that you look ten years younger than you did a few months ago." She then added while laughing and good-naturedly poking my belly; "And as promised, I worked that flab off of you. More importantly, you have more vigor now than you likely ever had, and that I don't know how to hide. I bet your wife will be thrilled."
     "And I owe it all to you..."
     "If you like, I could mix up a little something for you two, something to enhance your time together. I can't guarantee that a child would be conceived, but I can assure you that you'd both enjoy the effort that much more with my help."
     "Stop it...the idea of what you'd make an aphrodisiac from...is giving me naughty thoughts..."
     "Just keep my offer in mind, and let me know before it's time to go home. I'd need a little time to mix up a batch of my love potion so...you're right, I'd better stop, sitting on your lap when you're like this, is giving me naughty thoughts...you really are too stingy..." She said as she extracted herself and stood.
     "Let's get some miles behind us, I think I need some exercise to clear my head. How long until we get to that trading post town again?"
     "We should get to the caravan road by tonight, and then it's another day or two to the town"
     "Okay...the sooner we get going, the sooner we'll get there. I wonder if they have cold beer?"

     We chatted some more as we covered the last few miles of the trackless waste, seeking the road commonly known as the 'caravan highway', a road constructed of rammed earth that connected towns on the trade route. A vital artery of commerce, as wagons could not venture through the sea of sand that was the open desert.

     "So, let me make sure I have this straight: for some number of centuries the Sorcerer-Priests were importing beings from other worlds as their troops. Their goal was to conquer Erf, and in the process acquire materials to make some sort of elixir that would make them immortal?" I asked.

     "Correct."

     "And the <goblins> and whatnot that we are fighting are the remnants of that enemy force?"

     "Yes, and no." She replied. "Few of the invaders and their ilk that have been hunted in recent decades have been among any organized force, instead they were the feral descendants of soldiers imported centuries ago. They no longer sought the Fey for magic ingredients, instead they preyed on people in order to reproduce. They were little more than beasts."

     "I don't understand, you said they prey 'to reproduce' not 'for food'?"

     "Oh, they hunt for food too, they are a scourge on livestock. However, it's <goblins'> biology that makes them particularly repugnant. They are oviparous, parasitoid, and reproduce parthenogenically, and they prefer bipeds as hosts for their offspring."

     "Could you translate that into common, or simple Elvish that I can understand? That bunch of technical jargon sounds like meaningless word salad to me."

     "They are genderless, and reproduce asexually. They essentially are born pregnant. To reproduce they capture a person, jab an ovipositor into whatever orifice they can find and lay an egg. The sprat grows in a cyst formed in the host. Eventually the sprat will eat its way out. Victims will beg for death from their comrades, that is they will while they still have their wits. The growing sprat will generate secretions that alter the brain. Victims are reduced to mindless husks of a person, their only desire is to hide and feed."

     "What a nightmare!"

     "Indeed, it is why the elvish villages are hidden deep in the forest, protected by powerful magic that confounds the minds of the uninvited. It is also why <goblins> are slain on sight. Killing one before it captures someone is the only practical way to prevent another person becoming its victim. Even Elite Healers are often unsuccessful in removing the cyst and saving the host, and even then all hope is lost three or four days after the cyst forms. There is no greater horror than having to kill a host that was formerly a loved one, but killing them is necessary in order to spare the world from the birth of another <goblin>, and maybe grant the loved one a peaceful return to the cycle of rebirth."

      "By all that's holy, that is terrible!" Then the concept of a greater horror set in. "<Goblins> are approximately half the size of a person. I've heard that some of their kin, the <trolls>, are several times as large, and there are giants among the enemy forces too. Do those monsters try to lay eggs in people too?"

      "Thankfully not, whatever hosts they had available on their home world has no analog here. Most believe that the <ogres>, <trolls>, and the giant versions of them brought here for the war were likely promised a trip back afterwards. Nevertheless we need to be wary of the larger monsters. They are more intelligent, and have more motivation than the smaller ones do. They want to go back to where they came from, victory or death are their only options. Oftentimes a cornered beast is that much more ferocious."

     "What are the odds of encountering such beasts here?"

     "Pretty slim, the highway is patrolled, and even bandits will kill <goblins> on sight. Ferals have had their numbers vastly reduced from the days of the roaming hordes, and we're relatively far from the front lines, therefore not likely to encounter an organized force."   

     "I guess I should count my blessings, this desert almost seems comfortable to me now, knowing that those horrors are not close."

       "Don't let your guard down, It isn't only <goblins> that prey on men and elves."

*****

     The next morning we were making better time. We could move faster on the packed earth of the caravan route than we could on the shifting sand.
     "Stay behind me." Ms. Elf hissed under her breath as she stopped in her tracks

     "Honey?"
     "Reavers, about a score, they will be here in a moment." She took her bow and quiver out of her bag (I'm still amazed at the magic trick of extracting a stout meter long bow out of a bag no larger than my wife's purse). Just as she readied an arrow, I heard the 'hoof-beats' of the camel-like creatures the bandits rode. A moment later we were surrounded.
     "What have we here? Two travelers on my road? The toll is ten gold from each of you. If you don't have it, we'll let you work it off."
     Honey's only response was the slight creak made by pulling the string of her bow.
     "Now be reasonable, there are nineteen of us, and only two of you. Do you really think you can resist us?"
     "I figure I could kill six of you before you are within striking distance with your lances, which I am confident that we can avoid, another six of you would die before you could regroup. I might sustain a light wound or two, but it's unlikely that any of you would survive. My question to you all is: 'which of you want to die first?'"
     "You boast! Krull, take her." He gestured to one of his men. Before Krull moved, an arrow sprouted from his eye socket. He didn't have a chance to make a sound before he fell off his mount, apparently dead.
     "Who's next?" She asked, arrow notched and bow at the ready.
     "Let's not be hasty, I don't want to lose any more of my men, but the code of the desert demands that I can't just leave this be...pay me fifty gold and be on your way. I'll forget the toll, and forget avenging Krull, the gold will go to his family."
     "It's your folly that lead to his death, you pay the debt to his surviving sons."
     "My honor prevents me from doing that."
     "I am familiar with your clan, your honor isn't significant in this regard. Make way, you are impeding commerce of the caravan road, you are in violation of the code."
     "Now you've insulted me, I demand retribution! Face me in single combat, or designate him as your champion." He said as he pointed at me.
     "I grow weary of your prattling. I offer you a wager. You use your lance, I'll use my stick. Once I defeat you I'll take your mount and Krull's. Under the ancient rules, his mount is mine now anyway. Then we'll go our way and you go yours. We'll be finished with each other, you're not to cross my path again."
     "And when I defeat you, we'll take all that you have, then each of my men will use you tonight while your man watches, and in the morning, if you still live, we'll sell you both to the slavers." He spit on the ground, Ms. Elf followed suit. "We've both given our water to the desert, the wager is sealed." Ms. Elf handed me her bow and quiver, then pulled a staff from her bag, a meter and a half or so of solid looking wood. The bandit dismounted and loosed his lance from its holster. It was a wicked looking spear well over two meters long, with a serrated blade at its tip. It appeared that he'd have the advantage of reach, being at least a fifty centimeters taller, and having a longer weapon. He took a few swings and smiled lewdly. "Rejoice! after I defeat you, you'll learn what it is like to be with a real man, for I will be the first to take you." The other bandits grunted in approval.

     "Say the word, and we'll begin," she said.
     "Now..."
     She moved, and three strikes, faster than the eye could follow, were delivered in quick succession. The first an upward smash to his gonads, the riposte hooked behind his knees and swept him from his feet, the third a thrust to his windpipe, delivered while he was still in mid-air, pinning him to the ground. He twitched like a bug impaled on a needle. I involuntarily covered my own crotch, and felt a twinge of sympathetic pain.
     She ignored the defeated, whimpering, bandit leader and approached his mount. She cupped her hand around its ear and whispered something. The creature, not quite a camel, knelt and Elleth climbed in the saddle. She clucked her tongue and Krull's mount did the same.
     "We're leaving." She said to me, as she stowed her bow and quiver that I had handed her in passing. I did my best to imitate the way she sat in the saddle. When she whistled, both mounts stood and we proceeded on our way. "Don't look back, they'd perceive it as a challenge." she warned.
     After a while I asked; "You are amazing, could you teach me to fight like that?"

     "My aptitude with the staff is built on decades of training, and I don't think I would be a particularly good teacher. I could only teach by sparring with you, lessons would be painful"

     "Still, by comparison, my fighting ability now is near zero, anything at all would be an improvement." 

     "Perhaps I know of a better teacher for you, be aware however that the training is likely to be arduous."

     "I'm literally afraid that anything or anyone I encounter is likely to kill me, between bandits and <goblins> and whatever else is lurking in the shadows, some skill with some weapon has to be better than nothing if I need to fight."

     "Fine." she said as she dug something out of her bag and tossed it to me. "Discard the lance, and put this in the holster. from now on that is your training partner." 

     I did as I was bid, tossing Krull's lance to the gulley aside the road and equipping the staff Honey had given me. It wasn't her 'stick' but was about the same dimensions, however both ends were capped with steel, and I felt it 'thrum' as I handled it as if it were anxious to fight.

     "What is this? It almost seems alive?"

     "Some would say it's a cursed weapon. A spirit dwells within that thrives on blood. It will compel you to learn to wield it in order to slake its thirst. Once you learn to accommodate each other, you'll be formidable in combat."

     "Yea, you mean once I master it, I'll be a bad-ass?"

     "No, I meant what I said, you are not capable of mastering it. The spirit that possesses that weapon is far too powerful. You must form a partnership, let it teach you, and if you ever need to fight let the weapon do the fighting. At least until you know what you are doing. That weapon has the ability to change shape to meet the challenge at hand, and the spirit within has centuries of experience fighting. Accept its guidance."

      "Wow, that's both awesome and scary. Why haven't you been using it? I mean you fight very well with your stick, but wouldn't this make you even stronger in combat?"

     "We don't get along. I've learned all I can from it and now my style is too different. We would be disharmonious. I'm better off with my stick, it doesn't try and tell me how to fight." She said while shaking her head.

     "So when we camp for the night I should start training?" 

     "Yes, the nabori will need to rest soon" she said, apparently referring to the 'camels'.

     Why would we bother with the camels? It seems to me that we travel faster on foot."

     "We are less conspicuous this way. Travelers to the trading post don't usually arrive on foot. Crossing the desert without nabori, these beasts you call camels, is unheard of. Once we arrive, try and imitate what other migrants seem to be doing. What they eat, you eat. If they drink, you drink. Understand?"
     "Sure, sure, I'll blend in. Will this add a delay to our arrival?"
     "I had anticipated needing to acquire nabori, we'll get there before nightfall tomorrow."
     "Only one more night in the desert! Civilization! I can hardly wait."
     She pouted. "I didn't realize that you disliked sleeping with me so..."

     "You misunderstand, that was the only thing keeping me sane, but I am ready for a change in scenery and some different food."

       That evening I started training. Honey fought me with her stick and I tried to defend myself with mine.

       "What are you doing? Your weapon is far more skilled than you are. You just need to follow what it is guiding you to do. If you try to think about blocking attacks, it'll already be too late."

      How could she be so composed while fighting? I though to myself. She barely has to move to parry my attacks, and she's not even out of breath.  Meanwhile, I'm being dragged around like a muppet. I'm constantly off balance, and being pulled this way and that. I was rapidly becoming exhausted.

     "Rauuuah!" I grunted as I lunged. I missed, of course, and Honey smacked my behind with her stick as I passed.

     "Do they have couples dancing where you are from?"  She asked.

     "Yes, why do you ask?" 

     "Put down your weapon for a moment..." She ordered, then stowed her stick in her bag. She then stood in the classic 'waltz with me' pose, left arm raised just below shoulder height, right arm crooked. "...come, dance with me"

     "?!?" Perplexed, I complied. 

     "Ta ta ta ta-la-la-la tum ta dee ta tum..." she provided the music that accompanied our dance, I did my best to remember the lessons I took as a much younger man in preparation for my wedding day and muddled through a reasonable facsimile of a formal dance. "Now try letting me lead" she said. It was more difficult in some ways, everything was inverted and I had to work to stay on pace...I didn't have to decide anything, I had to keep up. Everyone remembers Fred Astaire as a great dancer but his partner had a more difficult task, she had to match his moves, backwards, while wearing high heels, and I was no Ginger Rodgers.  Eventually I got the hang of it and we moved in synchrony. "There you go..." she said once we were dancing properly. "...now remember this feeling, you're being guided. You have to give up some control, not all of it, but some...do the same with your weapon."

     We once again took up our staves, and this time when we sparred I tried to follow her advice and let my weapon 'lead in the dance'. I felt myself being guided into stances that just felt 'right' when I executed them, and my weapon then was already in the right place to counter Honey's blows. She picked up the pace and before I knew it, I couldn't even see her attacks. She was just that fast. But, since I trusted my partner, every blow was blocked. 

     "Now that you've learned to trust your partner, you can practice on your own. Imagine opponents, and the spirit will do the rest. Dance. You need to train so that your body almost moves on of its own accord, by reflex. <Goblins> are not particularly dangerous individually, and even now you'd likely be able to hold your own in a fight against one or two, but, as you've seen, we may face bandits or other enemies that are likely to have greater skill. In a few months you'll feel more at ease about being able to defend yourself."

     I practiced on my own for a while, until I was sweaty and exhausted. I felt weirdly exhilarated. My inner nerd was pleased, I recalled fantasy stories and anime I consumed when I was younger: Elric's blade that thirsts, The Familiar of Zero, and the protagonist's talking katana, the singing sword of Arthurian legend...I'm going to have to ask my partner its name, or give it one. When I collapsed into a fitful sleep, I dreamt grandiose Chūnibyō dreams of being a protagonist myself.

     

*****

      The next day was uneventful. The sun was setting as we approached the entrance of the post town. We each paid our fee and proceeded through the gate. My first impression of 'civilization'? It stank. A mixture of the reek of manure, sweat, smoke, and sewage assaulted my senses. My eyes started to water and I involuntarily scowled.
     "We'll sell the nabori, and find an inn...someplace upwind of the stables." Ms. Elf said. "And, try not to draw attention to yourself. Ignore the stench." We conversed in <elvish>, so as not to be overheard.
     "I'll try."
     We took a little time, Ms. Elf didn't want to sell the nabori to the first couple of merchants we ran across. I guess she developed a soft spot for the beasts and wanted them to go to someone who appeared to take good care of their animals. Once she did, she didn't haggle much, and we walked to an inn.
     Residents of the desert tended to keep covered, a variety of veils, scarves, turbans, and burnooses concealed appearances; but, once we entered 'The Nine Tailed Fox' inn, I was amazed at the variety of people present. The typical array of sizes and shapes and similar ethnic traits that I was used to, plus people with tails, and ears that resembled cats (or dogs?) high on their heads, some covered in fur, some not. I saw a clique of dwarves that could've stepped out of  The Lord of the Rings; but I think my elf was the only elf present. The tavern area wasn't too crowded. We found a table and sat.
     "Ale, and meals." Elleth called out, in [Common], to a barmaid walking near and flicked a coin in her direction. She caught it and aimed a nod back our way. I did a double-take. The waitress was extraordinary. She was lithe and short white fur appeared to cover her from head to toe, she glided over the floor gracefully, well, like a cat, which was logical in retrospect as her head was topped with triangular ears, she had some feline-esque features, and she sported a long tail that flicked nimbly as she passed.
     A moment later she returned bearing a tray. Soup, bread, and ale were deposited in front of my companion and I. "Need rooms?" She asked as she wiped the table of imaginary debris.
     "How much?" Elleth asked.
     "Two rooms and meals, eight silvers a night. For a gold each more, someone will keep you company."
     "One room." Elleth replied.
     "Cozy. Six silvers for the room, and for me... let's call it two gold altogether, nya?"
     "After our meal then, I'll have you for dessert."
     "What about your friend? I'd gladly provide service to him as well...no extra charge, or..."
     "He's on a pilgrimage, and must abstain."
     "Oh, that's too bad. For a few gold more, I can bring a male...watching is fun too, nya?"
     "Unfortunately not...Sir Lazybones, please wait here until the last call before coming upstairs to avoid violating your vow."
     I grunted into my ale.
     "Sorry, maybe next time, nya?" The barmaid said as she moved to attend to another table. Her tail caressed my ear in passing, as if it had a mind of its own.
     "What was all that about?" I asked, switching to <Elvish>, once the feline was out of earshot.
     "We need to fit in. This is what travelers do."
     "Really? I'm pretty sure that if we went upstairs together, no one would give us a second thought. They'd just assume that we were together, right?"
     "Maybe, Maybe not. This way we are sure, and I can try to get some information out of her...and..."
     "And what?"
     "And, she looks delicious. after all a girl has needs...And you're stingy in that way..."
     "So what am I supposed to be doing while you're taking care of your 'needs'?"
     "Blend in. Chat with the other barmaids or the customers. You need practice with your [Common] anyway. If anyone looks at you funny for something you said, apologize and say that you're a bumpkin from a remote village and they do things differently there or whatever. Don't leave the tavern. And, unless you change your mind about your vows, don't come upstairs until last call. That should be in about three hours."
     "Fine. Have fun."
     Just then the Felix barmaid came back with another round of ale, and a pair of keys, which were exchanged for a pair of gold coins. "Last room on the left...end of the hall...I'll go and freshen up the place. Come up in a few minutes, nya?"
     Elleth reached into her bag and pulled out a few things, she whispered: "Drink this...it's <de-toxicant>, it'll prevent any poisoning, the 'travelers' trots' , or you getting drunk. We need to keep moving tomorrow and I don't want to deal with you getting sick from food that you are not used to, or being hung-over. Here's some money, an ale should be five coppers, pay a silver if you want to be generous. Also, I want you to wear this talisman, so that I can locate you, in case you decide to wander...but don't wander, and don't leave the building...you know it's a pain that you can't cast spells...." Then she got up and went to the stairs.
     After a while, I moved from my table and took an empty spot at the bar. The barkeep was a gruff looking, mountain of a man, I did a 'double-take' She was constantly busy and apparently not interested in conversation. I listened in on the groups of people talking, a few spoke languages I didn't understand, others were speaking of trade routes and other things that just didn't interest me. I was bored, and couldn't even catch a buzz from the ale thanks to the potion. I turned and decided to just take in the scenery. By now the crowd had thinned, most of the wait staff/escorts had found customers and were elsewhere, the group of dwarves were playing some variation of poker and didn't seem to welcome outsiders.
     From the side I heard someone whisper a little louder than she probably intended; "C'mon, Runt, be confident. Just go up and ask him. You'll never get a customer if you don't try to close the deal."
     I decided to pretend that I didn't overhear.
     "You alone, Mister?" A barmaid that I hadn't noticed before asked nervously. She was a cute little thing. She was definitely a kitsune, or Renart, or fox-kin, or whatever they were called in the local language, but she didn't have the typical sandy coloration of the other local fox-kin I'd seen heretofore, nor was she covered in fur like the Felix that hooked up with Elleth, she apparently only had hair on her head, and it had patches of blue-grey and white. Her ears too differed from the other fox-kin in the tavern , they were a little floppy, lacking the size and the upright posture that I expected of a desert fox. That tail though: was definitely vulpine, maybe she's an 'arctic fox' (if so, she was a long way from home, this being the desert). Her tail fur was blue-grey with a white tip, and fluffy. Something about her was nagging my memory...She reminded me of the foxes that were starting to be sold as pets out of Russia, and the documentary I saw about them on PBS.
     "Yes, I'm by myself."
     "Would you like some company?"
     "Sure, I'm always up to chatting with a girl as pretty as you."
     She blushed, "You're just being kind, but thank you." She absentmindedly stroked a lock of hair, as if to hide behind her bangs.
     "Why would you think that? You're probably the cutest female in the whole place."
     "Now you're just trying to flatter me. You know I work here and you don't have to do that, right? Did you want to go upstairs?"
     "If you don't mind, I'd rather just talk here."
     "Please, Mister. The owner of the tavern said I need to earn my keep and generate some income or she's going to kick me out. I'll give you a discount because I was the runt of the litter."
     She had a pleading, almost sad look in her eyes.
     "I really don't..."
     "Please, just five silvers"
     "My companion is using our room, we have no place to go, sorry."
     "Three silvers, and we can use my chamber; it's tiny, but big enough for us to..."
     "And what do I get for three silvers?"
     "You know...almost anything you want."
     "You really should value yourself more...but, okay let's go." I said. I downed the last of my ale and I passed her some coins.
     We climbed to the top floor, one level above where paying guests stayed. She wasn't exaggerating when she said her room was small. It was a closet, maybe two meters on each side, leaving little floor space beyond that occupied by a rolled up futon, a small table, and a stool. The slope of the roof limited headroom, a small un-glazed skylight was the only window. She closed the door behind us as we entered, and then kneeled nervously on the futon she unfurled.
     "Well, h-here we are." She stammered, and started pulling on the ties of the back of her dress.
     "You said: 'whatever I want', and what I want is to sit and chat with a pretty girl." I said as I put my hand on hers, stopping her from undressing.
     "Okay, what do you want to talk about?" She asked, apparently relieved.
     "Nothing in particular, I have time to waste. Tell me about yourself. You didn't grow up here, right? I'd wager that you're some someplace colder, or at least your family is ."
     "Yes, the Taiga region, in the far north. How did you know?"
     "Your fur. Where I am from, only foxes that live in areas with long cold winters have that color of fur, and then only in the short summer. The rest of the year, all their fur is white, to blend with the snow. Well that is until relatively recently. I've seen some with patterned fur and ears like yours too."
     "There are others that look like me?"
     "Yes and they are highly cherished." I replied, stopping myself from saying: 'as pets'.
     "I thought I was a freak." She said softly to herself.
     "A freak?! No! Unusual? Yes. If you're a freak we all are, we all have something about us that is different. You really should value yourself more."
     "That's easy for you to say. There's nothing wrong with you."
     "The eyes can deceive, I've been told that there's lots wrong with me. That I'm almost completely useless."
     "I don't believe you."
     "Can you...wait...I don't like calling you, 'you', I'm called 'Lazybones', how are you called?"
     "Here they call me 'Runt'."
     "But, you don't like that, am I right?"
     "No."
     "'No', you don't like it or 'no', I'm not right?"
     "I don't like it, but I am a runt."
     "Did your family cast you out?"
     "What? No! My family...my family loved me...and..." <sniff> She held back some tears.
     "So what did your family call you? I'll call you that."
     "I don't remember." She said, a faraway look in her eyes.
     "I'll think of something...So, you're a refugee? From the war? I'm guessing you fled and got separated from your folks when you were little?"
     "You're mostly right. Our village was attacked...and I remember my parents fighting, holding back some marauders so I could run...I saw them die. I ran and ran. For weeks I ran until I found a string of wagons. A caravan merchant took me in and after a while we ended up here. Then she got sick with the fever and died. And...well, here we are."
     "I'm sorry, Sweetie. I won't say that I know how you feel, but...I am sorry. I got separated from my family too. I'm sort of on a quest to get back to them."
     "Your family?"
     "I have a wife, and a daughter that has just come of age. Some sort of magic transported me far from home."
     "You must be lonely."
     "Yes."
     "We could...you know...mate...I mean you paid, and I don't mind." She looked up at me with 'puppy dog eyes', and again started pulling on the ties of her dress. In a fluster I looked around for something to change the course of the conversation. I thought if I flatly refused her, I'd hurt her feelings, but, in all my years I've never had to tell a woman 'no' before, well other then Elleth, but Elleth didn't seem fragile like this little Renart. I saw a brush among a few trinkets on the table and grabbed it. I wasn't sure what I was thinking but I started brushing her tail. She stopped fiddling with her dress.
     "I couldn't. You see where I come from...um...you see I've taken a vow...and I'll only mate with someone I'm married to. Do you understand?" I asked while passing the brush through her fluffy tail fur.
     "Only with whom you are married?"
     "That's right...You know you really do have lovely fur." I couldn't help but stroke her tail with my free hand while the other brushed it.
     "And you only have the one child...you didn't want any more?"
     "Well, my daughter, she's practically grown now. I've always wanted more but...well I guess 'the gods weren't smiling on us' except for the one time, that is, and she's great so I don't mind...and now my wife is past the age where..."
     "I understand."
     "I've got it." I said, hoping to change the subject. "Where I'm from, girl foxes are called 'vixens', how about Vickie, Vickie the vixen. That's a much better name than 'Runt', right?"
     "From now on: I'm Vickie!" She giggled when she said it, apparently happy with the name I'd given her.
     Just then I heard a bell toll, and the barkeep's distant bellow from downstairs: "Last call! Last call! Settle up your debts and let's go. I have two cots left for a silver a piece, first come, first served...Hey, Brutus! You get along home, your mate is probably missing you." Laughter echoed at the joke, maybe Brutus didn't have a mate?
     "I had better get to bed, we're leaving in the morning and I need some sleep." I said to Vickie.
       She whispered, I could barely hear her: "Yes, well. goodnight...-ling"
     "Oof!" She had glommed on to me and nuzzled. Her nose was cold and I felt...I felt her licking me? She was licking my neck.
     "Sleep well, Vickie."
     Happy with myself for dodging a bullet, I made my way to the room. When I opened the door the lantern from the hall illuminated Elleth and that Felix barmaid sprawled on the bed, nude. I entered, locked the door behind me and prepared to sleep on the floor.
     "There's room, c'mere." Elleth beckoned sleepily, as she scooted to one side.
     I slid in bed and Elleth took one of her usual positions, using my chest as a pillow . A moment later the barmaid mirrored her postilion on the other side and started to purr. My eyelids were heavy and I slipped off to dreamland.
     When I awoke, the barmaid was gone and my Elven companion was stowing the last of the gear.
     "All right, Mr. Lazy, out of bed! We need to do some shopping and then get out of town. Let's remember to keep a low profile, blend in, and everything will be fine. There apparently aren't any rumors of monsters or whatnot that we need to worry about so...we head west, through the mountain pass and before you know it we'll be in the Great Western Wood, and we can take it easy for a while...I am so looking forward to a proper bath!"
     "Okay, Okay, I'm up. Where's the piss-pot?"
     A few minutes later I was dressed, <refreshed>, and ready to go. Magic really is great. <Refresh> is so much better than a toothbrush. We were starting to head down the stairs when Elleth's cautioning hand held me back.
     "What's wrong, Honey?" I asked.
     "Lots of people downstairs, but it's too quiet, something is amiss...keep your wits about you."
     When we entered the tavern area, people cheered and clapped. Folks I only vaguely recognized came and slapped me on the back, and offered congratulations, and handed me shots of liquor.


     "What. Did. You. Do?!" She hissed.


     "I don't know." I whispered back.
     When we got to the door. Vicki was waiting. She had on a nice dress, (dark blue, with a white apron over it) . A white triangular kerchief covered her head, she had her hair done nicely with ribbons tying it back, a matching ribbon decorated her tail. She had a bundle of something wrapped in fine, patterned cloth, apparently ready to be worn as a backpack.

     "Good morning, my husband! Ready to go?"