(fiction) Fred and the Elf: Chapter 1

    

Fred and The Elf: Chapter 1

I've decided to keep a journal of the unusual events that occurred over the last several years (subjective). Otherwise, I'm pretty sure I wouldn't believe them myself. It all started when I went to the doughnut shop after picking up a cake for my daughter's eighteenth birthday party. It was still early and I wanted a latte, and a cruller...




     "Thank you sir, that'll be $4.57". The gawky, teenager clerk said as he slid the coffee and pastry over the counter towards me.
     "No worries, here's $5.00" I responded.
     "And your change...have a nice day..."
     As he handed me the change, my vision faded to black, I felt the sensation of falling, and I think that I had passed out.

*****

     "Hey Mister wake up...you okay?...Mister...Mister?"
     "Yea, yea...just gimme a minute...what happened?" I replied, while trying to shake the cobwebs from inside my head.
     "I think that we were in contact when they completed the summoning ritual and you got caught up in it...sorry, man, like, I'm used to these things but I guess it's a total bummer for you. You're kinda' stuck here now..."
     "What?"
     "You've been summoned to another world...welcome to Erf. It's super cool, there are dungeons and dragons and elves and dwarves and stuff, it's just like the MMORPG that everyone is playing."
     I rubbed my eyes and took stock of the situation. I couldn't believe it, here I am a middle-aged weeb and I've been isekai'd?! This is...AWESOME! Am I a teenager now? Will I attend a magic academy and build a harem, just like in those anime I watch? Am I the summoned hero that needs to go on a quest to defeat the demon lord? This is so cool! No... Wait...Am I dead? Wait, this sucks! I have a life; a family that I love, a job that I tolerate, it's my daughter's birthday! I collapsed into a ball and cried. I love that I've been isekai'd and I hate that I've been isekai'd, what am I going to do? I need to get back... I guess I didn't really believe that I was in another world, someone must be pulling my leg. That's what I thought until incontrovertible proof literally flew across my field of vision. It was a dragon. A frickin' dragon! I couldn't accurately judge its size, as I didn't know how far away it was. It had a snake like body and tiny wings, it looked more like it was swimming through the air than actively flying, those wings couldn't possibly be generating the lift necessary it keep it aloft. Then I noticed the rider straddling its neck and I got an idea of scale...The dragon was easily the size of a Lear jet. I really was in another world, again my vision faded to black.
     When I awoke, an angel was looking down on me. She was enveloped in a golden light, her hair was floating as if she was underwater. Her lips were moving, but I couldn't hear what she was saying. I was captivated by the sight of her. It was almost painful to look upon such unearthly beauty. One should not look directly at the sun.
     I was wrong, I'm not in another world, I must be dead, I thought. "Am I dead?" I asked, tentatively.
     She replied in an incomprehensible, melodic language: "Donec lobortis risus a elit. Etiam tempor. Ut ullamcorper, ligula eu tempor congue,?"
     She gently touched the side of my head, then our lips met. Her hand was gentle, and cooler than I expected. Somehow it was comforting, being dead, if I was to be with this angel. Then the light vanished and her hair fell back into place, and she spoke.
     "Now, can you understand me?"
     "So beautiful..." I responded before collecting my thoughts. It was odd that her lip movements didn't match what I was hearing. It was as if I were watching a foreign movie dubbed into English.
   "Testing, one-two-three, say something intelligible so I know if it took."
     Without thinking, I quoted Shakespeare; "I have had a most rare vision. I have had a dream, past the wit of man to say what dream it was..."
     She blushed while responding. "Flatterer..." She muttered, then: "Good, the translation spell is functional. You'll be able to speak to me and understand me while it is in effect, but it only works between us. You'll have to pick up the local language if you are to interact with anyone else."
     Her business-like tone woke me from my bemused daydreaming. I wasn't dead. Somehow I was almost disappointed. "Okay, but, I don't know what is going on. Why am I here? Where is here? And, how do I get back home?"
     "This world is called 'Erf', currently we are in the citadel, within the capital city of the Empire. As I overheard the Hero mention; you got swept up in the summoning."
     "And?"
     "And what?"
     "Why was the Hero summoned? What is my role? What do I need to do to get home? Do I have some kind of awesome power in this world? No one asked me what cheat skill I wanted, how am I 'OP'? How do open my character sheet?"
     "The Hero is here to vanquish the last Sorcerer-priest, he that escaped the purge. And that is not relevant. Your only role is to stay alive until the Hero is done with his mission, we need to get you to a particular destination at a specific time in order to send you both home. If either you, or the Hero, are not there, the portal will not open, and we'll have to wait for the next planetary alignment on a solstice day. The rest of what you are asking is gibberish to me."
     "I wasn't summoned? I'm not even a sidekick? I'm 'The Load', detritus?"
     "No, You weren't specifically summoned, but you are uniquely valuable. The return spell will not work if the conditions are not met, and your presence is one of those conditions."
     I laughed, self deprecatingly: "Ha! I'm not the protagonist, or even a side character, I'm a 'McGuffin'... So, other than a condition for a spell, I'm worthless? The Hero was summoned to defeat the Demon Lord or something and I'm a plot device? Wait...wait! What if the Hero dies? or isn't 'in the circle'?!"
     "You are not garbage. We won't just abandon you, but, if the conditions of the spell are not met, there'd be no way to send you back. That is beyond the resources that we can currently muster. If you can't go home...well, we are at war and we need all the help we can get. If something were to happen to the Hero, the Empire will find a use for you in alignment with your skills. Humankind, and Elves for that matter, are always in need of men, and you would be adequately compensated."
     "Skills? I'm a middle manager at a company that sells nutritional supplements. In the marketing department. I oversee the placement banner ads on the internet, for vitamins and such. What use could I be to your war effort?"
     "I don't know what any of that means, other than 'food' and 'sell', so you are a trader or a shopkeep? yes, I noticed that you are pretty soft, even for a merchant. Still, we need all kinds of people. Not everyone has combat prowess or is a skilled magic wielder. We need cooks, supply workers, folks to manage camps, and care for the livestock. We need healers, morale officers, and general laborers. We even need merchants to manage camp stores, taverns, and brothels."
     "Brothels?!"
     "Of course, where else would morale officers do their work? All that is not relevant right now. Our top priority is to keep you alive and out of sight."
     "Why do I need to hide?"
     She looked to the heavens, apparently losing patience with me not grasping the details of the situation. "Like I said; your presence is a condition of the spell to return the Hero to his world. If the enemy found out they would want to leverage that, you'd be a valuable hostage. Therefore the fewer that even know of your existence, the better off you will be."
     "How long? I mean when do I have to be wherever it is I need to be?"
     "If the conditions are met, the circle will appear at a certain place, at the solstice...if the planets are in the correct configuration...the gate will open and you can cross the portal..."
     "You're evading the question, how long until I can go home?" I interrupted.
     "The next solstice is in ninety-three days, however it is unlikely that the Hero will have completed his task by then. The next time there is a favorable celestial alignment is in about seven-hundred days."
     "Two years?! I'm stuck here for two years?!"
     "No, you get to be here, with me, for two years." She tugged my ear, hard. "Most men would saw off their right arm for the privilege."
     "What about my life back home?! My family is going to be worried about me! I'll lose my job, we'll loose the house if the bills don't get paid!"
     "Do not worry about your life at home. The Hero has told me from his previous experience that when you return, not even a blink of an eye will have passed. If it weren't for the fat I plan to work off of you, no one would even know you were gone."
     "Fine, we're going to be together for two years. We might as well get along. I'm Alfred. My friends call me Fred or Freddie. What's your name?" I said as I held out my hand for a shake.
     "A <fey> being does not reveal their name, lest we be enslaved by a spell.", she replied. Ignoring my outstretched hand. Apparently that form of greeting wasn't a thing here.
     "I can't spend two years calling you 'hey you' or 'Miss Elf', what should I call you?"
     "Most address me by my title, I am the Seventh Elder of the Great Western Wood, so I am called 'Elder' or 'Seventh Elder', or 'Your Grace' but I don't want to advertise who I am to whomever may overhear so you may call me me (she said 'Elleth' but the spell translated it as 'Ms. Elf') and that will do. Is your name really Alfred?"
     "Yes, I know it's an unusual name but my dad was a comic book nerd and..."
     "Your name is 'Alfred', the <communion> spell tells me it means 'Elf Defender', or "Champion for the Elves', how did you get such a name?"
     "I was named after a famous man, a legendary servant."
     "I see... We can chat on the road, we have get to out of town. After we are gone, we can take our time, we have two years to get to where we are going." She tossed me a bundle. "Quickly change clothes, your outlandish costume is conspicuous."
     "So, I just lounge around until then?" I said as I pulled on a tunic and breeches, modesty didn't seem to be a thing here, as Elleth didn't give me any privacy. I just got on with it. "I suppose I can play a visiting dignitary or some such and the Emperor, or is it an Empress? Whatever, they can put me up in a minor palace or something. Will you stay with me so that I don't get lonely?"
     "If you want to rely on the hospitality of the Emperor, he'll provide you with a safe, cozy cell in one of his dungeons..." She said while stuffing my earthly possessions in a satchel and then tossing it at my feet.
     "So, as I was saying, how do I go about earning my keep until the solstice or whatever?" I quipped as I donned the shoulder-bag.

*****

Journal Day 6: We've been travelling for about a week, living off the land, and maintaining a low-profile. Crossing the woods outside of the capital was uneventful, as was 'Foggy Pass', the mountain pass between 'The Fang' and 'The Dragon's Horn', two of the mountains in the chain that separate the capital region and the desert. I think she is getting upset with our slow pace. Yes, I'm old (and fat, by this world's standards), but I thought we were progressing at a decent pace. The potions help. I never was particularly athletic, but a bottle or two of the <stamina> potion every now and then and I can hike for ten or twelve hours! (She says I plod along like a turtle, I'm not fast but we'll get to where we're going.) She's been giving me language lessons as we go. The <communion> spell was limiting so she's been pounding [Common] and the <Elvish> tongues into me, while literally pounding some self defense skills into me. Whatever time spent at camp before I collapsed from exhaustion was spent training. Being quizzed in vocabulary while sparring, I wouldn't think I'd learn either how to speak or how to fight but apparently there's a method to her madness... I'm sure I wouldn't be picking up as much as I've been if there literally wasn't anything else to do but walk and learn. (I found out later that she was casting spells on me while I slept, so that I would learn faster and not forget my new vocabulary. I don't have a particular knack for languages. When preparing to travel to France for my honeymoon, it seems it took weeks for me to learn a few dozen words, and I still stammered awkwardly when there.)

     "Soon we're going to have spare time. I'm getting tired of babying you, so I'm going to teach you some cantrips, the type of spells that folks use casually, for general housekeeping. You should learn <purification>, to keep yourself clean, and <disposal> to help erase traces you would otherwise leave, maybe a few others would come in handy later as well. Unfortunately you won't have much of a chance to practice <ignite> , as tomorrow we enter the desert, and we cannot have a fire." My elven companion informed me.
     "Why not?" I asked.
     "Anyone looking for us would be able to see the smoke for leagues, at night the flames would draw unpleasant insects, and there wouldn't be anything to burn anyway. Crossing the desert will mean days of nothing but sand, nasty desert denizens, and more sand."
     "Can't you just 'magic some heat into the food, or conceal the smoke?"
     "There is a limit to how many spells I can have active simultaneously without the magic use itself making us conspicuous, and using illusion to conceal all the smoke, and other spells to cover the smell...let's just say that it isn't worth the effort."
     "How are we going to cook our meals, then?"
     "Hah! you can afford to eat a little less anyway. Breakfast will be cold; hardtack and jerky. Lunch, we can cook on any flat rock exposed to the sun. I'll hunt something, its meat will sizzle nicely."
     "It'll be that hot!?"
     "Yes, we'll have to hole up in the afternoon to avoid the worst of it, it'll be too hot to travel. In addition, it gets so cold at night that our canteens will freeze solid if we're not careful. We'll have to adopt a crepuscular travel mode, moving in the hours around dawn and dusk. By the time we get to the forest's edge beyond, you'll be a full stone lighter, I'd wager."
     "So that's why we will we have so much spare time, huh? Actually, I'm an advocate of siestas, a nice nap to escape the heat of the day."
     "Plenty of time for rest in the grave, and I can't sleep when its too hot. During the day we'll work on your language skills and magic. If it wasn't going to be so hot, I'd step up on combat and conditioning as well. You are too sluggish, even for a Anthropoi. If we get into a melee, I'd like you to at least be able to avoid being hit. Anyway, enjoy this meal while you can. It'll be our last decent dinner for a while..." She said while passing me a bowl of stew. "No lessons tonight. We'll be leaving before dawn, I'd like to cover five or six leagues before we have to break for the heat, so rest up."
     "Okay, wake me when it's my turn to take watch." I said as I stifled a yawn.
     "When have I ever let you...I mean, thanks for the offer to help, but you don't have the skills to cover a shift. Sleep while you can. I also need to prepare more <stamina> potions, you go through more of that than...well I don't know what, but you go through a lot."
     "What's in that stuff anyway? It's great. I could make a fortune if I could sell it back home..." I asked as my eyelids started to feel heavy.
     "My recipes are secret, and I prefer to prepare them in private. Since I added a soporific to your stew, you'll have a nice sleep and I can get some work done, besides..."
     I didn't hear the rest of what she was saying. I had drifted off to dreamland.

*****

     This was not like any desert on Earth, at least any that I'd ever heard of. It was only a few hours after sunrise and the heat was already stifling. I downed what seemed like my tenth pint of water and let Elleth know that I was nearing my limit.
     "I can't take much more of this heat. When will we be stopping for a break?"
     "Let's get to the other side of that dune. The lee will have a shadow we can use to escape the sun."
     I collapsed in the relative coolness in the shade cast by the dune, Elleth seemed unfazed by the heat, and proceeded to pull empty bottles from her bag, then conjured water to fill them. She wordlessly passed me one upon noticing how I licked my parched lips.
     "How much stuff can you fit in that 'tardis' bag of yours?" I asked after downing the bottle's contents. The satchel I was carrying was a normal bag, made of canvas or similar material, hers on the other hand was apparently made of leather, and although it appeared to be empty, it contained as least as much supplies and equipment as would've filled the trunk of my Buick.
     "Hmm? The usual amount for a 'campaign bag of holding.'" She rummaged a bit and tossed me a flask. "You know, it isn't that hot yet. You should probably take a <stamina> potion too. We're going to have to make up for lost time once the sun goes down..."
     "Yea, maybe we should just camp out all day and just travel at night? I think I could handle the cold better than heat."
     "Unfortunately, you plod and stamp when you walk. Your breathing is loud and also you smell bad. You don't have the capacity to mask your presence and there are things that hunt at night. Things that I don't want to deal with while keeping you out of harm's way. Keeping you safe is my top priority and a <shroud> spell won't work very well if were moving, not with everything else I have to do to cover for you. Catch your breath and then lets cover a few more leagues before lunch."
     "I'm already cramping up, I think we're best off stopping now. How can this heat not effect you?"
     "This isn't bad yet..." She said, then mumbled; "It's the cold I can't stand..."
     "How about we get started on teaching me some cantrips? With <purification> I shouldn't smell so bad, right?" I asked jokingly. I hoped that I could stall and get some rest.
     "Fine...I'll add lazy to your list of flaws. Let's start with the basics, to cast a spell visualize your reservoir of mana, feel the flow of it down to your fingers, then imagine and shape the effect of the spell in your mind, sub-vocalize the {name} of the spell to focus the mana and..."
     We worked for hours without generating even a spark of magic from me, to our mutual frustration I just couldn't make it work.
     "I don't understand; magic works on you, so you should at least be able to perform simple spells. It is not that you are immune or incompatible. I've never even heard of a person without any capacity for magic...Are you really trying?" My elven instructor asked.
     "Grrr...." I grunted with the exertion of trying to manifest a spell. "I am trying...it's just not...working..." I said before collapsing in exhaustion.
      "Let us stop for now. I don't believe anyone is completely unable to use magic, but determining your issue is outside of my proficiency. We'll confer with an expert I know and can summon to the Great Western Wood, and we'll figure out something when they get there. Just rest. Let us eat, and work on your [Common] until dusk. Then we'll march until supper.
     "Fine, fine, 'sensei'...whatever you say."
     'Ms. Elf' shot something that wasn't quite a rabbit. With astonishing efficiency, she then butchered it and proceeded to cook us lunch on a rock heated by the sun. I suppressed a giggle every time she'd race out to flip the sizzling meat and dash back into the shade, as if she were a vampire and the sunlight was toxic. All the while she drilled me in vocabulary, apparently she wouldn't be satisfied until I had at least a halting fluency in both <Elvish>, and [Common]. We ate, and eventually I dozed off. She apparently had let me sleep for a few hours, for when she awakened me, the sun had dipped below the dunes to the west. we picked up our packs and started walking.
     "Let's get a move on, 'Sir Lazybones'. We have to make up for lost time. I want to get to that high ground before the cold fully sets in." She said while pointing to the horizon between some intervening dunes. A string of hills or mountains could barely be discerned in the distance. "And try to walk properly, like I taught you. I don't want to have to concentrate on covering your footprints."
     I glanced behind us and could clearly see the deep indentations my steps had left in the sand. Her feet had left no trace. She waved her hand as said a {word}, summoning wind that swept away my tracks. I concentrated on taking 'cat steps' like I was instructed previously. My walking still marked the sand but my tracks were less evident, and I found I didn't get as tried. Several hours, and two stamina potions later we arrived at the foothills. Our breath was making clouds as we exhaled. It was well below freezing.
     "Here, eat." Ms. Elf ordered, tossing me some dried meat and 'iron rations'. She pulled our sleeping bags from her pack and fiddled with them for a moment. "Go over there and take care of whatever business you need to before sleeping, I'll go after you and <dispose> of the traces."
     When I returned we wordlessly traded places. I waited, I couldn't give myself a sponge bath like I had been when we were in the forest, it was far too cold, and I had drank all my water. I was stuck with wishing I had some way to wash, and brush my teeth.
     "Strip." She unceremoniously said upon her return, while disrobing herself. Then practically jumped into the sleeping bag.
     "What? I'll freeze."
     "I put one sleeping bag inside the other, shared body-heat will keep us warm. clothes would just get in the way."
     "Oh...okay" I hesitantly started taking off my clothes.
     "Please hurry, it's cold...what is your problem?"
     "I'm sorry...I'm embarrassed." I answered.
     "You had no issue changing out of your outlandish clothing mere moments after we met and now you hesitate to lie next to me? Seriously, be an adult."
     "No...I stink, there's no way to wash, and the jerky left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm sure I won't be pleasant to be near...and..."
     "Oh, you goof, just cast <purification>, and pour a little extra effort into your teeth and gums. You'll be fresh as morning dew...oh, sorry... I forgot, you can't. Well, come here..." She propped herself up on one elbow, mumbled an incantation and I briefly glowed. "Closer, I can't do your teeth with you over there." I crouched down and she grabbed the sides of my head, and planted her lips over mine.
     It was quite a kiss; magical even. I felt the mana from her flow into me, then quickly fade, still we lingered. The kiss was no longer a pleasant hygienic measure; it was something else. I gently pushed her away, overcome with feelings of guilt. She had routinely cast purification on me before, but the kissing was new.
     "Thank you, definitely better than a toothbrush." I said as I finished undressing down to my briefs. She scooched to one side, making a space for me and beckoned me to join her, waving a hand the way I've seen people summoning a cat.
     There wasn't much room. She re-positioned herself, her back was to me and I was on my side. We both fit with a little space between us. I was self conscious of the level of intimacy, especially after the kiss. I closed my eyes and silently apologized to my wife, and tried to get to sleep.
     "Make like a spoon..."She whispered as she pressed her backside against me, while pulling my arm over her, then she hugged it to her chest. "I'm cold, and you feel nice and warm. I'm glad that you aren't entirely useless..." She cooed. She looked up at the nearly full moon. "It's a harvest moon, this makes me feel nostalgic."
     "Hmm?" I grunted, concentrating more on not crossing any more lines than what what she was saying. Apparently she wanted to chat. Inwardly, I was thankful for the distraction.
     "This time of year, villages on the Forests' edge have harvest festivals. The Anthropoi, people like you, as well as the Felix, Renarts, and other Therians, all have somewhat similar traditions. They'll feast, dance and sing. Celebrating the end of the growing season, and take a break before the work of preparing for winter. Near the end of the evening they send their boys, the ones that have come of age, to us; whichever Elves live in the Forest closest to their village... mmm...good times."
     "They'd send you boys? Why?"
     "Whichever Elves had a preference to, would take their boys, and make them men. Elves are a long-lived race and not fertile very frequently. Not even every year, but for whatever reason it's this time of year that we are. There are no elf-men so we have a pact with the people who are our neighbors. We borrow their young men, and if children are born, any that are Elves, are raised by us. And if a male child is born (and therefore not elven) we return them to the village."
     "I can see how the young men would like that deal, but I'm surprised that such a tradition lasted. Wouldn't that lead to a disproportionate number of males in those villages? And lots of babies with unknown paternity? Not to mention jealous would-be girlfriends, where I come from, such a situation would lead to strife."
     "Quite the opposite, actually. The villagers are overjoyed, the symbiotic relationship has to benefit us both or the pact wouldn't hold. Do you remember me saying when we first met that people are always in need of men? War casualties are disproportionately male, and even though it does vary somewhat from place to place, the majority of babies born to people are female, and the majority of births from festival liaisons are male. The villages are grateful for the influx as it seems there are never enough males."
     "Interesting..." I said as I stifled a yawn. "I'd like to continue this conversation, but I'm tired, maybe tomorrow?"
     "I'm okay not talking for a while..." Then she asked in a more sultry voice: "How about we find a use for what's been poking my backside for the last few minutes?" She cuddled against me in an alluring way. "Freddie, the moon is nearly full and I don't want a village boy. I want a man..."
     "I'm sorry, I must have lead you on...I think you are very attractive; but, I'm married."
     "How is that relevant? I have spouses too. I'm not asking for you to give me a child, or set up a household. Tonight would be about recreation not procreation."
     "I took a vow, I won't...we can't...I mean I swore to be exclusive to her and this would violate that..."
     "Her? " She asked incredulously. "You swore such a vow to one woman? There aren't enough men to go around and...how stingy!"
     "That's pretty standard where I come from."
     "Well that is not 'standard' here. Men have certain responsibilities due to their scarcity. Unless you have a good reason, to refuse me is poor manners! Just, what exactly did you swear to?!" She asked as she turned to face me, the moonlight illuminated the agitated look on her face.
     "Hmm? I don't understand why you're so upset..."
     "Right now I'm worried more than I am upset, vows and oaths are like spells, the specifics are paramount, and aside from what mood I happen to be in, it's important that I know what bindings are in place upon you. This could be the reason that you cannot perform magic, and the shackling a vow imposes could be exploited by our enemies."
     "Magic doesn't exist where I come from, I'm pretty sure that my wedding vows have nothing to do with..."
     "Did you invoke your names?"
     "Of course..."
     "Your true names?!"
     "Yes, why wouldn't we use our actual names?"
     "There's a reason that you don't know my name, invoking your true name in a vow binds the promise to your very soul!"
     "I really don't have a problem with that in this instance."
     "I'm going to cast <communion> on us again, and then I want you to tell me word for word what your vow was, I can't take a chance on a misinterpretation. You walking around with your soul bound in such a way could be dangerous."
     She subvocalized an incantation, she glowed and her hair floated up as if she were underwater, than she touched my ears as our lips met...the spell was complete, our minds were linked. What I said in English, she would hear in Elvish and visa-versa.
     "<Now Freddie, repeat the vow, but omit the names.>" She commanded.
     "I remember them well, we wrote them ourselves. I said: 'I take you from this day forward to be my wife. I will love, honor, and cherish you, through good times and bad, through times of plenty or times of scarcity, in sickness or in health, to trust you and be worthy of your trust, now, and for the rest of my days.' Her vow to me was the same."
     "<That's it?>"
     "Yup."
     "<There's nothing there about your celibacy outside of marriage.>"
     "It's implied? I guess. I mean in my culture everyone knows that being faithful to one's spouse means not having sex with anyone else and..."
     "<A vow, or an oath doesn't 'imply' anything. You are bound by exactly what you promise. No more, no less. But, you said that you wrote the vow...that this isn't the same marriage vow that everyone takes, is it? You two altered it to meet your preferences?>"
     "Yes, our vows are a little different than what's in the book everyone uses. We wanted ours to be...well, ours."
     "<I'm going to cast another spell on you, I want to 'see' whatever is tied to you, please be patient, this will take a moment...>"
     She stated an incantation longer than any I'd heard so far, when she was done her eyes looked as if ablaze, and when she looked at me, I felt her gaze, as if she was not looking at me, but at something beyond...my essence, my very being, maybe my soul. after a moment she blinked, smoke rose from beneath her eyelids and she took deep breaths, as if she just exerted herself greatly.
     "<Freddie, maybe oaths hold no true power in your world, but I should have 'seen' something...there should have been something there once you came to Erf, it is as if you didn't take a vow at all, or use your true names. There is nothing binding you, and the reason why you can't use magic is still a mystery>"
     "Whether my vows can be enforced or not, it doesn't matter to me. I still know what I promised, and I live by what swore to, regardless of what the exact words were. There's a principle where I come from; 'The spirit of a law', I'll not violate my vow, even if it doesn't specifically say what I thought it said, my wife and I both knew what we meant."
     "Okay, Freddie. We're going to be in each other's company for the next couple of years. And your vow is going to make it a very long two years for me. You can at least hold me and keep me warm, correct? I'll do my best to leave it at that, all right?"
     "Fair enough, Elleth." I said and allowed her to snuggle into my arms, relatively free of guilt. I slept soundly.
     I woke early the next morning with an elf glommed on my chest, she was snoring cutely. It would've been a very pleasant way to start the day if I didn't feel so uncomfortable (and guilty). I was in a state than males tend to be in first thing in the morning, and acutely aware of my urge to urinate, but was enjoying snuggly comfort and wanted to laze a bit. My bladder was refusing to cooperate.
     "Honey, I'm sorry I need to get up." I apologized while moving to extricate myself from the elf who had entwined herself around me.
     "Don't want to...I'm comfy, stay with me." she replied drowsily, while tightening her grip on me with both her arms and legs.
     "I have to pee, I'm sorry."
      She slid her hand beneath my waistband and uttered a {word}, casting a spell. The urgency of my bladder dissipated, along with the fuzzy feeling I tend to have in the morning before fully awake.
     "Go back to sleep now." She said unceremoniously, then put her head back down on my chest.
     "Please...move your hand."
     "Hmmm...like this? So, you have reconsidered after all. I'm glad. We can sleep after..."
     "You vixen. No, I meant: 'take your hand out of my underwear.'"
     "Spoilsport. For someone that says he's not interested, you sure seem ready to go...well at least part of you is?" She teased.
     "If you don't stop, I'm getting up. You can freeze."
     "Fine." She pouted, and stopped what she was doing. She broke contact and huddled by herself.
     "Are you upset? Why are you upset?"
     "..." She refused to answer.
     "Honey, I'm sorry..."
     "Am I ugly? Do you dislike elves? In all my years, no man has ever said 'no' to me..."
     "I never said that I wasn't interested, I think that you are very attractive, almost painfully so. It's just that I...I can't..."
     "I get it...you just need to understand that being told I can't have something I want, makes me want it more... Forgive me?" She asked as she returned to her perch wrapped around me. She idly twirled a finger through my chest hair.
     "There's nothing to forgive. I'm flattered and..."
     "Why did you call me 'Honey'?" she interrupted.
     "I don't know, it just seemed natural. It's a term of endearment where I come from, for someone you like, and it seems fitting. You're kind of the color of sunshine through amber honey, and you smell like flowers, and...I don't know I guess it just slipped out.
     "So you do like me?'
     "Even though you're an incorrigible flirt, yes."
     "And you think I taste sweet? Like honey?"
     "Go back to sleep."

     It was going to be a long two years.