(fiction) Fred and the Elf: Chapter 3
Fred and the Elf: Chapter 3
I was in deep shit.
"<I told you to be discreet, to blend in... and you, what? Married a barmaid?!>" Elleth said to me, (in Elvish), under her breath, through clenched teeth. She was outwardly maintaining a smile, but I could tell she was furious.
"<I did no such thing. I'm as much in the dark here as you are.>"
"<She's wearing a traditional Fox-kin bridal dress. She even has her dowry bundle with her. She thinks she's a new housewife, and that you're her groom. What did you do?>"
"<Nothing, we just talked.>"
"<We'll figure it out later. We can't afford to make an even bigger scene. Play along for now.>"
"<Okay.>" I answered in a hissed whisper, then loud enough for others to hear: "Vickie, You look lovely in your dress, are you ready to go? Do you have everything?"
Vickie beamed, I had to admit, she made a beautiful bride, but something was nagging at me. Well, besides not remembering how I got in this mess, I couldn't figure out why her outfit seemed so familiar...
"Yes, Dar-ling..." The fox-girl answered (practically singing her nickname for me) as she bounded up to me and took my arm. "...I have my betrothed, and the essentials for our household, what else could I possibly need?"
"Well, we'll be doing some travelling, and I'd hate for your pretty dress to get all dusty. I think we need to do some shopping."
"Whatever you say, Darling."
It seemed like she really liked saying 'Darling', a cheeky grin took over her whole face every time she said the word.
The three of us headed out. We needed to get some supplies, and travelling clothes for Vickie, so we stopped at the bazaar. Once we arrived, the ladies went off and started chatting and choosing outfits as if they were old friends. I felt a strange sense of déjà vu. I guess it was the same in every world, when the date is going to the 'mall', the ladies try things on, the 'boyfriend' just needs to wait, which reminded me of why her dress seemed so familiar. She looked just like a cos-player at one of those maid-cafes. Years ago I’d gone on a date at a comic convention, I still remember the smack to the back of my head from the girl I was with at the time, punishing me for my wandering eyes.
I got tired of sitting and waiting, I decided on killing time by looking at 'luggage'.
"The campaign bags of holding?" I listened to the merchant's sales pitch, he continued: "Yes, an essential for every adventurer...the smallest size can be attached to one's belt for your 'everyday carry items' and would easily contain the necessities for survival under almost any circumstances. Many adventurers call that an 'escape' bag...it weighs a mere Mark and can hold four Pecks..." I nodded after doing mental math to convert to something meaningful, that belt pouch weighed about four hundred grams, and held as much as my forty liter 'bug out' bag, a backpack I kept in the trunk of my car. "You'd also probably want a larger capacity bag for your gear and acquisitions. The size your companion was carrying is in the 'explorer' class, most hold about one hundred Pecks, or if you're going on a longer campaign, this 'expedition' size fits comfortably on your back, and will hold twice as much..."
"Do you have an 'excursion' size too?" I laughed inwardly, the names of the bags corresponded to the names and sizes of Ford SUVs, and that 'campaign bag of holding', was an unnecessarily long name, 'tardis bag' was much better, succinctly describing something larger on the inside than on the outside.
"Oh, I see you have discriminating tastes." he said as he took a large backpack off of a shelf. "This 'excursion' bag is made of the finest materials, it it a little unwieldy, but is not so large that most users are encumbered, and it will hold just over three-hundred Pecks, anything larger would be a 'transit' type bag, and usually goes by wagon or pack animal."
"How much?" I asked, prepared to haggle.
"For which?"
"An 'explorer' would be sufficient for my needs..."
"I see." He pulled a shoulder-bag from under the counter, maybe the size of a messenger bag, or a laptop attaché from back home. "A mere fifty for this fine example of..."
"Fifty silver? Seems a little expensive to me but..." In reality, even one hundred silver (ten gold) I thought was pretty cheap.
"You misunderstand, sir..." The merchant seemed much less cheerful now, the 'sir' was delivered with an expression on his face as if it pained him to say it. As if suddenly, now he considered me a piece of excrement. "The price is fifty platinum, or if you prefer, five-thousand silver."
"I see, that is a bit more than I am prepared to pay..."
"Quite." He said, dismissively as he stashed his wares and went to wait on an apparently more wealthy customer.
"Darling, look at my new outfit! Do you like it? You don't think it makes my...um...tail stick out too much, do you?"
"Vickie, I think it suits you, and you look very nice wearing it." I replied, her whole face lit up at my response.
"<Simpleton!>" Elleth said, as she slapped the back of my head. "<If you're finished gazing at her butt, we need to talk.>" She added while putting Vicki's dowry bundle and wedding dress in her 'tardis' bag. I experienced another brief moment of déjà vu.
"Vicki, could you wait for us outside, just for a moment?"
"Don't keep me waiting too long, Dar-ling!" She practically sang, as she skipped her way out of the shop. Darn, she's cute.
"<Hey, your bride and I had a little chat while trying on outfits. You told her that you'd only 'mate' with a spouse, you engaged in ritualized grooming with her, and told her you want more children. Then you named her! What was she supposed to think? I told you how important names are. Almost any Renart would see that as a marriage proposal, perhaps an old-fashioned and clunky one; but, one which she accepted by reciprocating the ritual, and grooming you.>"
"<I didn't mean...how was I supposed to know that? Besides, she didn't groom me, this is all a misunderstanding!>"
"<She didn't lick you? She said she cleaned your neck.>"
"<She did...I just thought that was a sign of affection, like a kiss>"
"<It's more than a kiss...>" She pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "<Then, why did you tell her that 'we are leaving early tomorrow>"
"<I was making an excuse to get out of her room...so I could go to sleep...with you! 'We' in this case, is you and I! You know [Common] isn't a language I'm that fluent in...it's a mistake anyone could've made!>"
"<I'd be more sympathetic, if you hadn't just admitted to having been fooling around with her in her room. She's your responsibility now.>"
"<You've got to be kidding me! You'd be more sympathetic if, wait...are you jealous?! You specifically told me to chat with the barmaids...>"
"<I didn't tell you to take one to bed. So much for your vow, I guess it doesn't mean that much to you, and you're only stingy with me?>
"<Honey...>"
"<Don't 'Honey' me.>"
"<We didn't 'mate', the whole conversation I had with her was to avoid that...I wasn't lying about my vow...and I can't marry her. How do I get out of this?>"
"<Well, until you 'consummate' your relationship, you're betrothed, not married. You'll need to figure out a way of letting her down gently; because, if she makes a fuss we'll get more attention than is safe. Until you do...well, good luck! or maybe I should say 'congratulations'?>" She said, then left in a bit of a huff.
For the time being, I guess we're a party of three. I don't understand women, and I don't know how I got in this mess. That morning at the doughnut shop seems so long ago. I remember the guy behind me in line commenting about how lucky I must feel when I was bragging about my daughter turning eighteen. I don't feel lucky now. I have to figure out how to break someone's heart.
I'd assumed that sleeping arrangements were going to be awkward. We shouldn't need to huddle for warmth anymore as we'd be out of the basin by tonight, so the temperature won't plummet like it did on the desert flats. Still, having a 'fiancé' and another woman along (who I think is jealous, and accustomed to cuddling) is going to create 'drama'. I was fairly anxious by the time we finally stopped to rest for the evening.
"I'll take first watch, you two sleep. Vicki, I'll wake you in a few hours to take over. I've put up a 'ward' and cast a concealment spell. So, as long as you two don't make too much noise, nothing should even know we're here."
"Did you want me to take the third watch?" I offered to help.
"Can you see in the dark? We're not so desperate that you'd be much help. Get some rest, Lazybones. We'll get an early start tomorrow."
"Okay. Goodnight, Honey." She didn't reply. I guess I was right about this being awkward. I didn't know what to do to make it right and I knew that I had hurt her feelings. I really am useless. "Honey?" I questioned her, she wouldn't look at me, I was getting the 'cold shoulder'. <"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for...I'm sorry that I hurt you. Please, I don't know what to do to fix this, tell me how I can make it right.">
"<Just go to sleep Lazybones. You can't help being so ignorant, it's not your fault. I don't even know why I'm so irritated. I mean who proposes without knowing it? And in a manner that is considered both out-of-date, and romantic? It's as if you are cursed.>"
I practiced 'stick-fighting' for a while, until I was tired then I got undressed, had a quick wipe down, and slid into a sleeping bag. A moment later, Vickie rolled over and embraced me through her sleeping bag, she started petting my hair and nuzzling; doing that thing where she was licking my neck, and ear.
"Vickie...you need to stop."
"I don't want to...we're finally alone and..."
"We're not alone, and I think we need to talk."
"She has cast that spell so that we'd have some privacy. It was a courtesy; so that we could have some quality time together. She won't hear or see us...well she won't if she doesn't actively look or listen...besides, I don't want to talk, we're newlyweds..."
"That's precisely what I want to talk about...can you stop for a moment?"
"You don't like it when I do that to your ear?...or when I do this to your neck?...or when I do this..."
"It isn't that I don't like it...but, I can't think straight when you do...and it's important...please."
"Okay, Darling, what is it? What's wrong?"
"This isn't right, I didn't intend to...Please don't take this the wrong way, you didn't do anything wrong...It's just that I feel like I mislead you, like I tricked you or something, and I didn't mean to promise you something that I can't deliver."
"You think you tricked me into marrying you?"
"Not exactly...and we're not married, not until we..."
"Darling, you've got me, you don't have to try to impress me."
"What?"
"Impress me, with how clever you are. You say you used some kind of ruse to deceive me into marrying you? So what? It was sweet, the way you refused me for the evening, but wanted me for life... It reminds me of how my grandma told me that Gramps first wooed her, and... you were so bold...we'd barely introduced ourselves and you start old-fashioned courtship?! You really are clever, to know exactly what would work on me..."
"What?"
"The grooming, and the petting. It's out of some fairy tale."
"I didn't know that brushing your tail had that kind of significance."
"But, you knew you were doing something...intimate. How could you not? And you gave me a name. If you're so canny as to ensnare me without knowing that...ooh, you don't need to be sorry for that."
"I don't understand. I..." She put a finger on my lips to interrupt.
"I thought you were charming, I fell for you right away. You really think that being sly ruins anything...with me? I'm a fox. Cleverness is a trait I want a father to pass on to my children. Again, I'm a fox don't you think I'm cunning enough to see that you were improvising? I want you anyway, I chose you to be my husband."
"I'm not clever, quite the opposite..."
"<Nothing, we just talked.>"
"<We'll figure it out later. We can't afford to make an even bigger scene. Play along for now.>"
"<Okay.>" I answered in a hissed whisper, then loud enough for others to hear: "Vickie, You look lovely in your dress, are you ready to go? Do you have everything?"
Vickie beamed, I had to admit, she made a beautiful bride, but something was nagging at me. Well, besides not remembering how I got in this mess, I couldn't figure out why her outfit seemed so familiar...
"Yes, Dar-ling..." The fox-girl answered (practically singing her nickname for me) as she bounded up to me and took my arm. "...I have my betrothed, and the essentials for our household, what else could I possibly need?"
"Well, we'll be doing some travelling, and I'd hate for your pretty dress to get all dusty. I think we need to do some shopping."
"Whatever you say, Darling."
It seemed like she really liked saying 'Darling', a cheeky grin took over her whole face every time she said the word.
The three of us headed out. We needed to get some supplies, and travelling clothes for Vickie, so we stopped at the bazaar. Once we arrived, the ladies went off and started chatting and choosing outfits as if they were old friends. I felt a strange sense of déjà vu. I guess it was the same in every world, when the date is going to the 'mall', the ladies try things on, the 'boyfriend' just needs to wait, which reminded me of why her dress seemed so familiar. She looked just like a cos-player at one of those maid-cafes. Years ago I’d gone on a date at a comic convention, I still remember the smack to the back of my head from the girl I was with at the time, punishing me for my wandering eyes.
I got tired of sitting and waiting, I decided on killing time by looking at 'luggage'.
"The campaign bags of holding?" I listened to the merchant's sales pitch, he continued: "Yes, an essential for every adventurer...the smallest size can be attached to one's belt for your 'everyday carry items' and would easily contain the necessities for survival under almost any circumstances. Many adventurers call that an 'escape' bag...it weighs a mere Mark and can hold four Pecks..." I nodded after doing mental math to convert to something meaningful, that belt pouch weighed about four hundred grams, and held as much as my forty liter 'bug out' bag, a backpack I kept in the trunk of my car. "You'd also probably want a larger capacity bag for your gear and acquisitions. The size your companion was carrying is in the 'explorer' class, most hold about one hundred Pecks, or if you're going on a longer campaign, this 'expedition' size fits comfortably on your back, and will hold twice as much..."
"Do you have an 'excursion' size too?" I laughed inwardly, the names of the bags corresponded to the names and sizes of Ford SUVs, and that 'campaign bag of holding', was an unnecessarily long name, 'tardis bag' was much better, succinctly describing something larger on the inside than on the outside.
"Oh, I see you have discriminating tastes." he said as he took a large backpack off of a shelf. "This 'excursion' bag is made of the finest materials, it it a little unwieldy, but is not so large that most users are encumbered, and it will hold just over three-hundred Pecks, anything larger would be a 'transit' type bag, and usually goes by wagon or pack animal."
"How much?" I asked, prepared to haggle.
"For which?"
"An 'explorer' would be sufficient for my needs..."
"I see." He pulled a shoulder-bag from under the counter, maybe the size of a messenger bag, or a laptop attaché from back home. "A mere fifty for this fine example of..."
"Fifty silver? Seems a little expensive to me but..." In reality, even one hundred silver (ten gold) I thought was pretty cheap.
"You misunderstand, sir..." The merchant seemed much less cheerful now, the 'sir' was delivered with an expression on his face as if it pained him to say it. As if suddenly, now he considered me a piece of excrement. "The price is fifty platinum, or if you prefer, five-thousand silver."
"I see, that is a bit more than I am prepared to pay..."
"Quite." He said, dismissively as he stashed his wares and went to wait on an apparently more wealthy customer.
"Darling, look at my new outfit! Do you like it? You don't think it makes my...um...tail stick out too much, do you?"
"Vickie, I think it suits you, and you look very nice wearing it." I replied, her whole face lit up at my response.
"<Simpleton!>" Elleth said, as she slapped the back of my head. "<If you're finished gazing at her butt, we need to talk.>" She added while putting Vicki's dowry bundle and wedding dress in her 'tardis' bag. I experienced another brief moment of déjà vu.
"Vicki, could you wait for us outside, just for a moment?"
"Don't keep me waiting too long, Dar-ling!" She practically sang, as she skipped her way out of the shop. Darn, she's cute.
"<Hey, your bride and I had a little chat while trying on outfits. You told her that you'd only 'mate' with a spouse, you engaged in ritualized grooming with her, and told her you want more children. Then you named her! What was she supposed to think? I told you how important names are. Almost any Renart would see that as a marriage proposal, perhaps an old-fashioned and clunky one; but, one which she accepted by reciprocating the ritual, and grooming you.>"
"<I didn't mean...how was I supposed to know that? Besides, she didn't groom me, this is all a misunderstanding!>"
"<She didn't lick you? She said she cleaned your neck.>"
"<She did...I just thought that was a sign of affection, like a kiss>"
"<It's more than a kiss...>" She pinched the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "<Then, why did you tell her that 'we are leaving early tomorrow>"
"<I was making an excuse to get out of her room...so I could go to sleep...with you! 'We' in this case, is you and I! You know [Common] isn't a language I'm that fluent in...it's a mistake anyone could've made!>"
"<I'd be more sympathetic, if you hadn't just admitted to having been fooling around with her in her room. She's your responsibility now.>"
"<You've got to be kidding me! You'd be more sympathetic if, wait...are you jealous?! You specifically told me to chat with the barmaids...>"
"<I didn't tell you to take one to bed. So much for your vow, I guess it doesn't mean that much to you, and you're only stingy with me?>
"<Honey...>"
"<Don't 'Honey' me.>"
"<We didn't 'mate', the whole conversation I had with her was to avoid that...I wasn't lying about my vow...and I can't marry her. How do I get out of this?>"
"<Well, until you 'consummate' your relationship, you're betrothed, not married. You'll need to figure out a way of letting her down gently; because, if she makes a fuss we'll get more attention than is safe. Until you do...well, good luck! or maybe I should say 'congratulations'?>" She said, then left in a bit of a huff.
For the time being, I guess we're a party of three. I don't understand women, and I don't know how I got in this mess. That morning at the doughnut shop seems so long ago. I remember the guy behind me in line commenting about how lucky I must feel when I was bragging about my daughter turning eighteen. I don't feel lucky now. I have to figure out how to break someone's heart.
*****
I'd assumed that sleeping arrangements were going to be awkward. We shouldn't need to huddle for warmth anymore as we'd be out of the basin by tonight, so the temperature won't plummet like it did on the desert flats. Still, having a 'fiancé' and another woman along (who I think is jealous, and accustomed to cuddling) is going to create 'drama'. I was fairly anxious by the time we finally stopped to rest for the evening.
"I'll take first watch, you two sleep. Vicki, I'll wake you in a few hours to take over. I've put up a 'ward' and cast a concealment spell. So, as long as you two don't make too much noise, nothing should even know we're here."
"Did you want me to take the third watch?" I offered to help.
"Can you see in the dark? We're not so desperate that you'd be much help. Get some rest, Lazybones. We'll get an early start tomorrow."
"Okay. Goodnight, Honey." She didn't reply. I guess I was right about this being awkward. I didn't know what to do to make it right and I knew that I had hurt her feelings. I really am useless. "Honey?" I questioned her, she wouldn't look at me, I was getting the 'cold shoulder'. <"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for...I'm sorry that I hurt you. Please, I don't know what to do to fix this, tell me how I can make it right.">
"<Just go to sleep Lazybones. You can't help being so ignorant, it's not your fault. I don't even know why I'm so irritated. I mean who proposes without knowing it? And in a manner that is considered both out-of-date, and romantic? It's as if you are cursed.>"
I practiced 'stick-fighting' for a while, until I was tired then I got undressed, had a quick wipe down, and slid into a sleeping bag. A moment later, Vickie rolled over and embraced me through her sleeping bag, she started petting my hair and nuzzling; doing that thing where she was licking my neck, and ear.
"Vickie...you need to stop."
"I don't want to...we're finally alone and..."
"We're not alone, and I think we need to talk."
"She has cast that spell so that we'd have some privacy. It was a courtesy; so that we could have some quality time together. She won't hear or see us...well she won't if she doesn't actively look or listen...besides, I don't want to talk, we're newlyweds..."
"That's precisely what I want to talk about...can you stop for a moment?"
"You don't like it when I do that to your ear?...or when I do this to your neck?...or when I do this..."
"It isn't that I don't like it...but, I can't think straight when you do...and it's important...please."
"Okay, Darling, what is it? What's wrong?"
"This isn't right, I didn't intend to...Please don't take this the wrong way, you didn't do anything wrong...It's just that I feel like I mislead you, like I tricked you or something, and I didn't mean to promise you something that I can't deliver."
"You think you tricked me into marrying you?"
"Not exactly...and we're not married, not until we..."
"Darling, you've got me, you don't have to try to impress me."
"What?"
"Impress me, with how clever you are. You say you used some kind of ruse to deceive me into marrying you? So what? It was sweet, the way you refused me for the evening, but wanted me for life... It reminds me of how my grandma told me that Gramps first wooed her, and... you were so bold...we'd barely introduced ourselves and you start old-fashioned courtship?! You really are clever, to know exactly what would work on me..."
"What?"
"The grooming, and the petting. It's out of some fairy tale."
"I didn't know that brushing your tail had that kind of significance."
"But, you knew you were doing something...intimate. How could you not? And you gave me a name. If you're so canny as to ensnare me without knowing that...ooh, you don't need to be sorry for that."
"I don't understand. I..." She put a finger on my lips to interrupt.
"I thought you were charming, I fell for you right away. You really think that being sly ruins anything...with me? I'm a fox. Cleverness is a trait I want a father to pass on to my children. Again, I'm a fox don't you think I'm cunning enough to see that you were improvising? I want you anyway, I chose you to be my husband."
"I'm not clever, quite the opposite..."
"False modesty doesn't suit you. Maybe you're too honest, but you're plenty smart, and I can be sly enough for both of us..."
"...and I'm already married."
"Everyone has more than one spouse. Do you think she won't accept me? Don't worry, if you married her, and raised a child together, she must be a good person. I bet I can win her over. Once she gets to know me, she'll believe that it was her idea for us to wed. I can wait until she gives her blessing before we..."
"You don't even know me, how can you know her? How can you think you'll be able to do that?"
"Because I am clever, like a fox...and it worked on you..."
"Everyone has more than one spouse. Do you think she won't accept me? Don't worry, if you married her, and raised a child together, she must be a good person. I bet I can win her over. Once she gets to know me, she'll believe that it was her idea for us to wed. I can wait until she gives her blessing before we..."
"You don't even know me, how can you know her? How can you think you'll be able to do that?"
"Because I am clever, like a fox...and it worked on you..."
"What? worked on me?"
"You didn't even notice that we're talking about 'when' not 'if', I've already won you over, your other wife will be a cinch."
"That brings up another problem, travelling to where she is, to where I'm from. It's a long journey. It's not fair for me to ask you to..."
"You're worth it, and this way we'll have time to get to know each other."
"I got here by magic. When I go back, I don't know how the magic will let me take you with me..."
"We'll figure out a way..."
"But..."
She again silenced me. "You worry too much. It's not a problem we can solve by talking, is it? Not tonight, at least. If we're not going to do what newlyweds do, let's get some sleep."
I laughed. She was smart, sly, and darned cute. "Okay Vickie my vixen, goodnight."
She cuddled up and soon I felt my eyelids getting heavy. She just all but admitted that she tripped me into this marriage. I should be angry, but I was so charmed by her that I couldn't bring myself to be upset. I actually felt content as I fell asleep.
"That brings up another problem, travelling to where she is, to where I'm from. It's a long journey. It's not fair for me to ask you to..."
"You're worth it, and this way we'll have time to get to know each other."
"I got here by magic. When I go back, I don't know how the magic will let me take you with me..."
"We'll figure out a way..."
"But..."
She again silenced me. "You worry too much. It's not a problem we can solve by talking, is it? Not tonight, at least. If we're not going to do what newlyweds do, let's get some sleep."
I laughed. She was smart, sly, and darned cute. "Okay Vickie my vixen, goodnight."
She cuddled up and soon I felt my eyelids getting heavy. She just all but admitted that she tripped me into this marriage. I should be angry, but I was so charmed by her that I couldn't bring myself to be upset. I actually felt content as I fell asleep.
"Besides...you're all the family I have..."
Wait, did she really say that?
Birds were chirping as the first rays of sunlight crossed the horizon. I blinked and tried so rub the sleep from my eyes. One of my arms was pinned, I looked to see if my stirring had awakened Vickie. Elleth's eyes met mine. I was confused, not remembering at the moment that the girls would've switched places when they traded shifts sometime during the night.
"<Good morning Honey>...mmmrph"
She had taken it upon herself to perform our morning ritual. Her lips overlapping mine as her <purification> spell flowed into me, a moment later she cast <refresh> after sliding her hand into my sleeping bag. Her spell took effect: I was awake, and no longer felt any urgency to pee. Being awake, I realized that she usually performs these tasks one after the other, not simultaneously, yet our lips had not separated. She wasn't 'working', she was on vacation, or possibly letting me know that she had forgiven me. Or maybe just taking a moment to satisfy herself. Like she said before: 'a girl has needs'. Regardless, I was happy to comply whatever her reasoning was, I hoped this means that that we were making up (not merely 'making out'). Making up is great. Magic is great. What were we fighting about anyway? I could stay like this forever...well not forever, but for a while. Elves are just apparently that good of kissers...oh shit! My wife is going to kill me.
"Just what are the two of you doing?!" Vickie asked.
Elleth broke the kiss, smiled wickedly, then kissed me again briefly. "Just the usual morning hygiene regimen. Mr. Lazybones here has no magical abilities, I need to take care of that for him. It isn't a difficult job, but someone has to do the work..." She answered.
Vickie stomped over and planted a kiss on me, as if claiming her property. She loitered, taking her time. "Elves have an odd way of grooming their mates. I don't see how that works, it sure is fun though."
"You have to cast a purification spell while you do it, otherwise you're just kissing."
Vickie had moved on to running her fingers through my hair, while kissing and nuzzling.
"He's my betrothed, I don't need magic to groom him. 'Just kissing', well, isn't." She said before starting to work on my neck. I hadn't received 'hickies' since I was a teenager, but I was getting some now.
"I think he likes it when you groom him." Elleth observed.
"You think?" Vickie asked coquettishly.
Elleth whispered huskily into my ear; "I know you like the attention..." Then she gave me a little squeeze, her hand had wandered from where it was when she had first cast <refresh>. "...don't you, 'Dar-ling'?"
I gently removed her hand and moved it up to my navel, and held it there. "My bladder is up here, behave."
"But, it's more fun this way..." I could hear the playful pout in her voice.
Something between a grunt and a growl escaped my lips. If I let this go on, I'd do something that I had dreamt of, but ultimately that I would regret.
"Okay, enough ladies. Believe me I'd like nothing more than to stay here and laze around; but, we need to get to where we need to go and...eat breakfast and...where are we going again?" My excuse wasn't eloquent, but it was early in the morning, and I was flustered.
I figured out that I was going to have a rough time from now on. Somehow when I tried to let Vickie down easy, and get out of marrying her, I ended up agreeing to take her home with me; so that she could convince my wife to enter into some sort of group marriage or something (?!) Additionally, Elleth who was so jealous the night before, apparently has decided that it's open season on 'flirting with Fred'.
"The Great Western Wood. I know that I've told you before. It'll be there when we get there, a few more minutes of bonding with your women won't make a difference..." Elleth answered while taking the opportunity to cuddle.
'My women', she said. A wave of guilt washed over me. I had been cuddling, and allowing the kissing, (dammit, I was kissing back...) and not trying very hard to stop what was happening from going further. Somewhere there was a line between 'being friendly', and 'cheating' and I had crossed it sometime ago. I had to stop this, and not allow it anymore, and remember to beg for forgiveness when I got home to Stacy. Imagining how hurt and angry she would likely be, broke something inside me. I missed her. Even at a time like this, with two beautiful women fawning over me, I missed her, and felt terrible that I had wronged her. I moved to extricate myself from the ladies' embraces and sat up, they tried pulling me back down. I used all my 'will power' to stand, and started getting dressed.
""Hummph!"" both of them expressed their displeasure, Vickie's exclamation was cute, and sincere. Elleth was imitating Vickie, and couldn't hide a coquettish grin, she was enjoying making me uncomfortable.
"I remember now, you mentioned that you knew someone there who was an expert on magic or something?" I said, trying to keep the subject on our journey, and not on 'bonding'.
"Well I know someone who knows someone, we should be able to ask her to visit. It isn't like we have anything else we need to do, other than lie low. We'll have several months' time to kill. Anyways, it's my home village. It'll be nice to catch up with people I haven't seen in...well, I've been gone for a long while, I wonder who will still be there?" Elleth answered while packing gear into her satchel/ 'tardis bag'.
"Your home village? Wow, a whole village of elves! I never thought that I'd even meet one, and we're going to a whole village? And, it's your home village too? Will we be able to meet your family? Your mother?" Vickie asked, fangirling.
"No, my mother has since moved to another location. You will however meet one or two of my wives."
Vickie 'squee'd', it was cute.
“How long will it take to get there?” I asked.
“Maybe eighteen, no twenty days? Three weeks at most.”
Less than a month more of accelerated training in elven martial arts, and three weeks more of sleeping in bags and protecting the sanctity of my wedding vows. I can do this (can't I?), I can’t imagine that the village won’t have proper (separate) beds and then I can relax a bit.
"The Great Western Wood. I know that I've told you before. It'll be there when we get there, a few more minutes of bonding with your women won't make a difference..." Elleth answered while taking the opportunity to cuddle.
'My women', she said. A wave of guilt washed over me. I had been cuddling, and allowing the kissing, (dammit, I was kissing back...) and not trying very hard to stop what was happening from going further. Somewhere there was a line between 'being friendly', and 'cheating' and I had crossed it sometime ago. I had to stop this, and not allow it anymore, and remember to beg for forgiveness when I got home to Stacy. Imagining how hurt and angry she would likely be, broke something inside me. I missed her. Even at a time like this, with two beautiful women fawning over me, I missed her, and felt terrible that I had wronged her. I moved to extricate myself from the ladies' embraces and sat up, they tried pulling me back down. I used all my 'will power' to stand, and started getting dressed.
""Hummph!"" both of them expressed their displeasure, Vickie's exclamation was cute, and sincere. Elleth was imitating Vickie, and couldn't hide a coquettish grin, she was enjoying making me uncomfortable.
"I remember now, you mentioned that you knew someone there who was an expert on magic or something?" I said, trying to keep the subject on our journey, and not on 'bonding'.
"Well I know someone who knows someone, we should be able to ask her to visit. It isn't like we have anything else we need to do, other than lie low. We'll have several months' time to kill. Anyways, it's my home village. It'll be nice to catch up with people I haven't seen in...well, I've been gone for a long while, I wonder who will still be there?" Elleth answered while packing gear into her satchel/ 'tardis bag'.
"Your home village? Wow, a whole village of elves! I never thought that I'd even meet one, and we're going to a whole village? And, it's your home village too? Will we be able to meet your family? Your mother?" Vickie asked, fangirling.
"No, my mother has since moved to another location. You will however meet one or two of my wives."
Vickie 'squee'd', it was cute.
“How long will it take to get there?” I asked.
“Maybe eighteen, no twenty days? Three weeks at most.”
Less than a month more of accelerated training in elven martial arts, and three weeks more of sleeping in bags and protecting the sanctity of my wedding vows. I can do this (can't I?), I can’t imagine that the village won’t have proper (separate) beds and then I can relax a bit.
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