Technically, Not Cheating (Fiction/short story)

Author's note:  Below is entirely a work of fiction. None of the characters are representations of real people, nor are the scenarios depicted representations of actual events (outside of my own fantasies). Beware 18+ content.

Technically, Not Cheating

     We were going to our next-door neighbor's house to attend a child's birthday party. The Osmans' little boy, Peter, was turning six. Peter and my son, Kevin, were usually inseparable, and today was no different. Even before my wife and I walked around to the back yard, Kevin ran ahead and started playing 'tag' or something similar with the other children in attendance. I recognized some other kids from the neighborhood. I suspected the unfamiliar faces were the offspring of either friends or family of the Osmans.
     "Hey, you're here! nice to see you" Miriam (Peter's mom) said to us as she came over and gave my wife and I quick hugs and kisses on the cheek as greetings.
     "I'm glad we made it, I forgot the GPS and wasn't sure we'd find the place." I replied. She groaned at my retelling of the same joke I must've told one hundred times.   
     "You know where everything is, make yourself at home." Denis (Peter's dad) welcomed us as well.
     "Anyone else need anything? " I asked as I went inside to get myself a beer, and a glass of wine for my wife, Linda. When I returned to the group they were chatting with someone I didn't know. She was stunning, I mean, I was literally stunned. My wife took her glass from my paralyzed hand as she whispered to me:
      "Stop staring. I know she's pretty but jeez, you're drooling."
     "What?" I replied, shaking my head to clear it.
     "I said thanks for the wine."
      "Oh, sure thing, honey."
      "Hey Chuck, meet my sister, Sienna. Sienna this goof is Chuck" Miriam said. Sienna and I exchanged greetings

      The rest of the party was relatively uneventful; Sienna caught me staring once and gave me a wink, Linda didn't notice. We adults passed a pleasant afternoon with chit-chat and moderate consumption of adult beverages. I was comfortably 'warm' but not yet buzzed by early evening when most guests started heading for home. We were invited to stay for dinner, and we accepted, as the kids didn't want to stop playing.

      Eventually the kids got worn out, they were sprawled on the couch, asleep. It was time to head home. We started saying our goodbye's. Denis and I exchanged handshakes, the rest of the adults started exchanging 'side hugs' and cheek kisses, the kids waved, sleepily

     "Thanks for everything, a pleasure as always." I told Miriam as we kissed each other's cheeks.
     "Oh, of course, you're always welcome." she replied. Similar niceties we exchanged all around.
     "Nice meeting you." I held my hand out to Sienna, ready for a shake. She rolled her eyes and went in and gave me a hug.
     "Go ahead, I know you want to..." She whispered.
     "What are you talking about?"
     "You've been checking it out all day, slide your hand down and grab my ass, no one will know."
     "What?!" I said louder than in the whisper our conversation was in.
     "I said, it was nice meeting you too." She replied with a wicked grin.
     "I'm hearing things, I didn't think I drank that much! goodnight."

     It wasn't the first time that day I thought I was experiencing auditory hallucinations. I was getting concerned. We put Kevin to bed, later I felt very guilty involuntarily imagining that it was Sienna's backside I was grasping while making love with my wife. I literally bit my tongue, afraid I'd call out the wrong name.

     That's not cheating, right?

     I decided that I didn't feel too guilty. After all, fantasizing wasn't cheating; it wasn't that I chose to think of Sienna at that moment, besides, over the next few weeks, my thoughts were only about Linda when we made love. I believed that Sienna was out of my system.

     A month or so after the birthday party, we were invited to a housewarming get-together. Sienna had just moved into a new place in the next town over. Her new home was relatively small, a 'town-home' with two bedrooms. It was a cocktail party, 'cozy', so the children stayed behind with a sitter. Eventually, through the normal course of mingling, I ended up chatting with our hostess. I was both looking forward to and dreading speaking with her. I didn't want to be awkward around her, but I wasn't confident I could hide my attraction to her and I was afraid of the images of her that might later pop into my mind at intimate moments. She was wearing a little black cocktail dress that accentuated her shape in all the right places, I had a hard time not staring. If I actually got close to her, my state of arousal would become evident.

     "It really is a nice place, congratulations." I said to her, making small-talk.
     "Thanks, I like it..." we exchanged pleasantries for a minute, then she asked: "Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?"
     "I'm sure that I don't know what you are talking about." I leaned on the arm of the couch and crossed my legs, hoping that she didn't notice my trousers getting tighter. I was both embarrassed and flattered. Did she just compliment my junk?
     "The way you look at me."
     "I beg your pardon? I mean, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. I'll stop."
     "Oh, you don't have to stop. It's just that I think we need to discuss the ramifications..."
     "I didn't mean anything by it, really, I apologize. I've made you uncomfortable..."
     "Your eyes, it's like I can feel them on me..."
     "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to be creepy...I almost felt like I couldn't look away. I said I'd stop..."
     "Please don't..." She whispered.
     "What?!"
     "It makes me feel attractive, appreciated, sexy. It's a warm feeling. I like it."
     "I imagine you get looked at like that all the time, you don't really want that from me, do you?"
     "It's one thing when a stranger leers at me, I don't like it. I'm a person not a walking piece of eye-candy...but from you, it's different. The first time I caught you, you blushed and got a little flustered. It was cute. Since then, you've taken the time to get to know me. Now when I catch you looking at me, as often as not, it's my eyes you're gazing into. I can still tell that you're...hungry? But it's different, I'm not sure I can explain...but it turns me on."
     "I think I understand, but..."
     "Look, if some stranger groped me without my consent on the subway, that's assault. He'd get arrested or at least a kick in the groin from me. If my lover initiated the exact same contact while we were in each other's arms... that would be a caress, I would reward him appropriately."
     "Okay, I get it. However, I can't let you reward me. I'm married and I won't cheat."
    "You're a tease! That's not nice. Why are you gazing longingly at me with your damn gorgeous, hungry, eyes, if you're going to leave me hanging."
     "I'm married, I'm not dead. I can't help that I find you attractive. I did offer to stop."
     "And 'eye-f**king' me isn't cheating? "
     "If looking in the window of a chocolate shop, or reading the menu posted in front of a fancy bistro whets my appetite, but I 'eat' at home, I'm not cheating on my diet. Besides, I wasn't aware of how it was effecting you."
     "And the flirting? That's not cheating either?"
     "Flirtation in and of itself isn't cheating. We can flirt as long as we know it won't go further. I flirt with your sister all the time. I just want her to feel good about herself, remind her that she's attractive. She knows I'm not trying to get in her pants. I'm 'safe'. She can allow her self esteem to get a boost and know that it doesn't have the lead to anything. That's all I meant to do with you. I'm sorry. I was sending signals that went beyond my intentions."
     "Fine, I'll forgive you. However; now that we're talking, I'm interested in your stance on this topic."
     "Which topic?"
     "Where's the line? What is cheating to you, and what isn't?"
    "I don't know that there is a clear line, I guess cheating is like art, I'll know it when I see it."
     "Kissing?"
     "A 'hello' or 'goodbye' peck on the cheek, definitely not cheating. Making out? definitely cheating."
     "Hugging?"
     "Same thing, greeting or consoling is okay, grabbing ass is not."
     "Can you cheat without touching?"
     "Sure, if we video-chatted while showing each other masturbating, that'd be cheating, so would phone sex, or sexting, or exchanging lewd photos."
      "What about fantasizing? If you thought about me while playing with yourself, in your mind, are you cheating?"
      "That might be a grey area. I can't always help what goes through my mind at a moment like that, but, if I intentionally used  thoughts of you...no, I take it back. I still don't think it's cheating even if I did. Heck, If I told Linda to pretend to be you while we were intimate, she might think it's odd, but it wouldn't be cheating."
       "Is it okay for me to turn you on, or visa versa, if we're not touching ourselves or each other at the time?"
       "I guess, but again a grey area, what is the intent behind the turn on?"
       "Just to be turned on."
       "Not to act on it?" I asked.
       "Not that you'd know about. I might take care of myself at a later time, or bank it for when I'm with a boring date or whatever."
       "I've heard it said that the biggest erogenous zone is between your ears. If we don't cross the line, I guess that would be okay."
       "Great, lets play a game. Figure out a way to turn me on. No touching, no suggestive language, or nudity, no making love to me with your eyes. How would you do it? Could you, without 'cheating'?"
       "I'll think of something...."
       "You have half an hour, I'll check on you later."

*****

     I spent the next thirty minutes mingling with the other guests and being distracted by thinking about how to turn Sienna on. That's not cheating, right? When time was up, she caught my eye and walked over.
     Her expression seemed to say: 'I've been waiting, hit me with your best shot.'
     "Go upstairs and do one of three things, do not tell me which. Either change into undergarments that you find particularly sexy, leave what you are wearing now on, or go commando. Come back downstairs when your done."
      "How is that going to..."
     "Hush! I'll be waiting, scoot."
      A few minutes later she found me, my arm was around Linda's waist. My wife and I were chatting with some of the other guests. Sienna joined the conversation, but I went out of my way not not pay any extra attention to her. I played the role as just another guest. After talking for a while, I noticed her squirming a little. Presently she excused herself 'to go to the little girls' room.'
      When she found me again, I was alone. She walked up and punched my arm.
      "What's that for?"
      "I damn near left a puddle, you jerk! How could you do that to me?"
      "I didn't do anything, and I'm not certain you did either."
      "You win, okay, you win. Explain how getting me so worked up that I could barely see straight isn't cheating."
       "Because I don't know if Schrodinger's cat is alive or dead. You might've gone upstairs and decided to do nothing, I didn't ask, I didn't touch you, I didn't talk dirty to you, I merely suggested that you could change your undergarments to ones that were special to you or nothing at all. But, I gave you an out. I suspect that what turned you on was fantasizing that I was thinking about you and your underwear, or lack thereof, maybe. That and apparently all you needed just about any excuse to be turned on, it was more you than me."
     "Were you? Were you thinking about what was under my skirt when I was standing there?"
     "Who me? Actually, Linda had distracted me, I barely noticed when you excused yourself to go pee." I replied coyly.
      "I didn't go to pee, I had to take care of something and then clean up so my guests couldn't smell how tuned on I was... when I figure out a way to get even, watch out!"
       "I can't say that I volunteer to participate, that would be crossing a line."
       "Spoilsport!....let me see your hand."
       "My hand? Sure" I said as I held out my open hand. She turned it over and measured the size of my hand with her fingers. "What are you doing?"
     "I'm estimating the size of your genitals by examining your fingers. When I go to buy my toy, I'm going to imagine that it's you, and I want to buy one that I imagine is about the right size..."
     "Okay, but you know that it's a myth about the correlation between hand size and...."
     "It doesn't matter, this is for my fantasy. It's not like I plan to compare."
     "You're a brat, you don't 'win', you didn't follow the rules."
     "But I did turn you on. How did I break the rules?"
     "You touched me, held my hand, and talked suggestively about pleasuring yourself, imagining that your new toy was me. How could that not turn me on?"
      "Then lets say that I wasn't  playing that time, I'm actually going shopping."
     "Well, it's not like I can stop you..."
     "You know, this is fun, playing with you. Seeing how close I can walk you to the line. Give me your cell number."
     "Okay, but why?" I asked and rattled off my cell phone number.
     "So that I can torment you." She said, deadpan, as she updated the contacts on her smartphone. "Does Linda have the same rules you do?" She asked as she typed something on her phone.
     "Pretty much, we don't have what would be considered an open marriage or anything, but I've allowed her an exception."
     "Now you have to tell me what the exception is."
     "That's between her and I. I don't mind if she tells you but I won't violate her trust by spilling what she told me in confidence."

*****

     We chatted for a little bit more, then mingled with the other guests before it was time to go. I had summoned an 'Uber' that we were sharing with the Osman's, and were saying our 'good-nights'.
     "It really is a lovely home, thanks again for having us over." Linda told Sienna as they exchanged kisses on the cheek and a little hug. Sienna said something back, but I didn't hear what.
     "I had fun tonight, thanks." I told our hostess as we exchanged a hug and kiss. My hand lingered on the little exposed 'window' on the small of her back, above her skirt and below her loose top. Her skin was delightfully smooth.
     "I'll be in touch." She whispered to me, then playfully nipped my ear. I'm sure she felt me twitch when she did.
      The four of us piled into the Uber, Denis in the front (he's tallest), me with the two ladies in the back.
     "You spent a lot of time flirting with my 'hot baby sister', didn't you, Chuck?"  Miriam teased.
     "I'm sorry, did I not spend enough time flirting with the 'hot older sister'? Swing by my house later tonight, I'll rub your feet and give you my undivided attention." I teased back.
     "I love your foot rubs, but I think I'd like a little more than that..."
     "You know I'm right here? right?!" Our respective spouses replied in unison. We all laughed.
     "It sounds like you'll have to take a rain-check,  Denis, will you rub her for me?" I asked.
     "I will not, I will rub her for myself, and for her. you're not allowed where I plan to..."
     "Husband! please, my reputation." Miriam feigned shock in her words.
     Shortly thereafter the car pulled into our driveway and we bid our neighbors a pleasant evening. After paying the babysitter and walking her home, Linda and I headed up to bed.

*****

     "You want her don't you?" Linda asked.
     "Yea, I bet she'd be fun in the sack; however, this is not news. You've known for years that I'm attracted to Miriam..."
     "Mmmm, yes Miriam is fun in the sack."
     "You need to be careful. one of these days Denis is going to catch you. Then what are you going to do?"
     "Let him watch! I'm sure he wouldn't complain once he got over the fact that his wife likes to experiment. But you're changing the subject."
     "I thought we were talking about bedding Miriam?"
     "No, you goof, her 'hot baby sister.' You want her, right?"
     "Of course, she's pretty, and sexy, and I bet cuddly as well."
     "Are you going to make a pass at her, or just string her along and get her all hot and bothered?"
     "I bet she'd be game, but we've chatted and I told her that I'd never cheat on you. We just flirt."
    "You could use your 'free pass' with her. Technically, it wouldn't be cheating."
     "I still can't believe I agreed to that 'pass', or that you suggested it. Anyway, it's a 'free pass' only for a one night stand, I'll leave that alone until we're on vacation or something. I wouldn't want to start something that I couldn't finish. Why don't you make a play for her? You have the 'exception clause' to bed any woman you want. I confess that I'd like to watch you and Sienna together."
     "That would be hot. Don't forget that you have an exception clause also..."
     "True, but I have zero interest in bedding a man. Heck, I can't wrap my head around what a man even sees in another man. What women see in other women? Yes, I get that! I'm thankful that the world isn't populated with more lesbians, so that I get a chance every now and then..."
     "Yea, yea" Linda interrupted. "We've had this discussion before, you're firmly near a 'zero' on the Kinsey scale and I'm somewhere between a two and a half and a four depending on my mood. That's why I issued you a 'free pass', I want to be fair."
     "You know, as much fun as it is to discuss extramarital sexual relations, what I'm interested in right now is my lovely bride..."
    "What are you waiting for?"
...

...

     "I love you." I whispered to her, while catching my breath from our particularly vigorous session of lovemaking.
     "Wow! That was something else. What got you so enthusiastic tonight? Miriam? Sienna? I think I'm going to be sore down there tomorrow."
     "In the morning, give Miriam a call to come over and kiss it and make it better. I'll cook breakfast and watch."
     "Only if you do me again, gently, right before she starts. It's a fantasy of mine."
     "What if Denis does her right before she comes over, would you like that too?"
      "I think I'd prefer if you did her, then I'd clean her up! Yummy!"
      "I don't think I'd like being 'the other man' and messing with their marriage." I responded, in a more serious tone.
     "Hey, honey, are you jealous? Of Miriam and I, I mean?"
     "Actually, I'm not. I know it's a double standard, but I guess I compartmentalize the idea of you and another woman as being okay, but, sharing you with another man...not so much. The talk of infidelity... I just felt weird for a sec. Do you think Denis would be okay if he found out about you two?"
     "I imagine he could handle it, that is if he doesn't already know. Miriam knows him best after all and I can't imagine her hiding this from him forever."
     "I bet you're right, he probably does know. The 'secrecy' is just a game?"
     "Yea, forbidden fruit and all that."
     I stifled a yawn and snuggled.
    "Goodnight, lover. I'll still cook you breakfast tomorrow." I told her.

*****

     I was cleaning up after brunch (French toast), and preparing to run some errands, when I received an text on my phone.

<from unknown> good morning Chuck!
<from unknown> I went shopping today
<from unknown> I am going to name him Li'l Chuck
<from me> who is this?
<from unknown> Sienna, you goof
   
     I updated my contacts

<from me> why are you telling me this?
<from Sienna> like I told you last night, to torment you ;)
<from me> OK, whatever, enjoy :)
<from Sienna>  oh, I have, very much.
<from me> I'm glad that tormenting me brightens your day
<from Sienna> Tormenting you is a bonus, I meant, I've enjoyed Li'l Chuck!
<from me> oh
<from Sienna> I didn't text you during, and sent no pix, so
<from Sienna> so this isn't sexting, this isn't cheating, right?
<from me> I guess
<from Sienna> I have a couple other ideas- I'm asking Linda
<from me>sure
<from me>wait, what?!  ideas about what? wait you're scaring me 
<from Sienna> ideas about what we can do that isn't cheating

     'Linda is going to kill me.' I thought to myself.

     I had finished loading the dishwasher and was heading out the door. I sent Linda a text.

<from me> We're out of milk, I'm running to the store, anything else we need?
<from Linda> KY, I'm still sore 
<from me> sure thing

Some minutes later.

<from Linda> would you like to go out on a date?
<from me> I'm yours whenever, wherever
<from Linda> Great, pls pick up the dry cleaning, wear something nice tonight, a suit
<from me> what about our precious child?
<from Linda> already arranged, he's going to the Osmans
<from me> where are we going?
<from Linda> it's a surprise

*****

     I had just stepped down the stairs and took a look at myself in the hall mirror. I thought to myself: 'I actually look better than just ok, maybe I should wear a suit more often'.  Linda came down the stairs wearing a slinky red dress.

     "Wow honey, you look great! I almost don't want to let you out of the house. What do you say we go back upstairs and dance in the bedroom, then dance in the bedroom?"
     "Maybe later, but I'm looking forward to this dinner. You don't look too shabby yourself. Is the car here yet?"
     I took a look outside, a black SUV was just pulling into the driveway.
     "Yes, the car is here. Are you ready? Did you want to confirm the license plate with your 'Uber' app?"
     "Yup, let's go!"
     "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"
     "Nope."

     About twenty minutes later we pulled up to a nice restaurant, near the airport, mingled among several upscale hotels. I got out and walked around to open the other door while Linda closed out the 'Uber' transaction. She took my arm and we walked in. The hostess took our name and walked us to our table. I was surprised to see Sienna waiting for us. I tried to not look disappointed. After exchanging greetings I pulled Linda's chair for her as whispered to her as she sat:
   
     "I thought we were going on a date, a romantic evening?"
     "We are. Enjoy the ride." Linda whispered back a she kissed my cheek.
     "A pleasant surprise to see you, Sienna. Your dress is even prettier than the one you wore the other night." I told my unexpected extra 'date'.
     "Why, thank you Chuck. You clean up pretty well yourself."
     "What did I do in a previous life to deserve the good fortune of two lovely ladies joining me for dinner tonight?"
      "Well Darling, Sienna and I were discussing what is cheating and what isn't. I decided that letting you tag along while I take Sienna on a date isn't cheating. So, here we all are." Linda answered.
      "And I decided that I wanted to date Linda, even if you're an accessory." Sienna added.
      "Do I get to give you both a 'goodnight' kiss at the end of our date?" I asked.
      "We'll have to wait and see." They answered almost in unison.

     We ordered dinner and had a pleasant meal and talked about nothing in particular, until dessert.

     "Y'know Chuck, I think you might be wrong about what cheating is." My wife said. "Give me your definition?"
     "Engaging in an intimate act, which would be reserved for one's partner, with someone other than one's partner. The definition of 'cheating' is easy, determining what's an intimate act reserved for one's partner isn't."
     "No Chuck, you've pretty much defined 'adultery' not cheating." My wife informed me.
     "Isn't that a distinction without a difference?" I asked.
     "It's not: 'engaging in intimacy, normally reserved for me, with someone else, without my knowledge or consent' would be cheating." My wife informed me. "Your definition doesn't allow for exceptions and free passes and a few other things." She then addressed Sienna. "You ready to go?"
     "What about the check?" I asked.
     "Charge it to the room, here's your key. Linda and I are going to freshen up. Have a drink then come join us in twenty minutes or so" Sienna answered.
     "Wait, what?" I asked.
     My wife informed me. "Darling, as long as it's with me, a ménage à trois, technically isn't cheating."