the fireplace dream

     
Author's note, to the subject of this dream:


The subjects in my blog fall into three categories:

• self reflection: stuff about me or my past and dealing with my demons or whatever
• travel: documenting past travels or planning future ones
• stories/fiction: originally just keeping plot points/things I remembered from my Dad telling me stories as a kid. Somewhere along the line I started writing my own.

     Ever since I started keeping a web journal, stories/ narratives pop into my head; while daydreaming, or just thinking on the train, or whatever, and I feel the need to get them written down. Sometimes it's a scene, sometimes part of a larger story. The characters are fictitious, the scenarios might be a riff on something I read or something else. I think of a situation and wonder how would a character get out of it or how would it forward the plot of a story, or develop a character. (am I thinking like an author?) On occasion I might muse about it, or even dream about my characters; most often just fragments of scenes or plots. (Like a trailer for a movie)  

     For the first time in I don't know how long, I had what I call a 'vivid dream' one that felt real: all my senses were engaged. Usually I dream in 'black and white', or the colors are muted, I don't feel or smell or taste in my dreams typically. It's more like watching a movie with me as a character than being a active participant.  This was different; I could feel  when we kissed, I could smell the smoke in the atmosphere. When I woke up I had to check that you were not next to me (and I was disappointed. I was alone, but the feeling of you was fresh in my memory)  The dream became one of those things that I had to get out of my head, and in writing. 

     My point is, the 'categories' were always separate. My 'real life'  thoughts and dreams were about my past, my 'stories' didn't involve real people (except sometimes me)  If I had a dream that felt real like I did the other day, it was reliving an event that actually happened (or very close to something that actually happened), I've woken up looking for the cat who has been gone for ten years, or feeling/ recalling/ reliving something specific about my ex-wife (sometimes good, most often bad) or mundane things about friends or family (Reliving Christmas morning, or a fight with a sibling) I don't recall ever before having a 'vivid dream' that was erotic, a fantasy about someone who was never my lover.
     
   This 'vivid dream', I'm not entirely sure what specifically inspired it: other than the thunderstorms rolling through, and a general state of angst. Nothing that you did. (If anyone else is reading this - the subject of this particular episode should be held guiltless)  I've rambled - my preamble will be longer than my description of the dream - sorry. Part of me wants to tell you about it. I wonder if you'd be flattered, or you'd think it was creepy, or neither, and we'd have a conversation and analyze my dream. (The rational part of my brain put the brakes on that, some things are best left unsaid. I can't take the risk, I can't let that genie out of the bottle, because there would be no way to put it back.)

     So, this doesn't get a 'fiction' tag - the event (my dream) actually happened - of course the scenario in the dream didn't. That's entirely the product of my firing neurons separated from reality.

The Fireplace Dream:

      We were going to a cabin in the woods. It was late autumn. The oak and maple branches were already bare and the air was cool, crisp, and scented with the aromas of fallen leaves, spruce, wood-smoke, and a whiff of ozone. A storm was coming. The sun was setting as we heard distant thunder, and saw flashes of lightning on the horizon. We ran hand in hand from the car to the front door as the first fat drops of cold rain pelted us.

      I went to the main room and started making a fire. Soon enough my efforts were rewarded with the sounds of crackling and popping. I turned around and you were waiting for me, perched on the thick blanket you had spread on the floor in front of the fireplace. I knelt before you and got lost, gazing into your doe-like eyes.

     Seemingly without my volition, I was drawn to you. We kissed tenderly at first; hesitantly, then we kissed more deeply as we acknowledged our mutual hunger...

     We made love slowly; you astride my waist, your movements unhurried, savoring our time together. I was struck by how beautiful you were. The fire painted you with a dappled flickering light. The flames reflected on your skin and in your big brown eyes. Occasionally a flash of lightning would wash out all color in the room and I could only see your silhouette, thunder would crack and we'd feel the rumble wash over and through us.

     We 'finished' together as the storm was ending, collapsing into a mutual embrace. I was holding you, stroking your chocolate colored hair, you nuzzled on my chest, before we drifted off to sleep.