(fiction) The Conquests of Jacob Ferguson Part 1
My name is Jacob Ferguson. My friends call me ‘Jake’ or ‘Jay’, my students call me Mr. Ferguson. I am an instructor of humanities at William Lawrence College, the small liberal arts school here in Centerville. When I grew up in this town I would joke that Centerville was ‘smack dab in the center of nothing’, as not much seemed to happen around here. I had an ‘average’ childhood in this ‘average, small, middle-American’ town. I would hang out with the neighborhood kids, go to school, catch fireflies in the summer and colds in the winter. My best friend lived next door. Sometimes we’d go fishing or play tag or whatever, nothing extraordinary. I guess I fit in Centerville, I’m pretty average myself. Not particularly tall or short, neither particularly handsome nor plain.
I was raised (mostly) by my grandparents. I was still an infant when my mother and I moved here after my father passed away. He was a Warrant Officer in the Navy. He died in a training accident. Mom died from cancer when I was seven years old, so from then on, it was just Gram and Gramps and I that lived in this old farmhouse, just off campus.
I always thought I’d get out of this small town, settle someplace either more cosmopolitan or exotic than this Podunk backwater. I tried to experience different locales and cultures. I went away to a state school in the Pacific Northwest for my bachelor’s degree, paid for by survivor benefits from the Navy. I took a 'gap-year' and spent it in the Peace Corps, trying to help kids stay in school in some country in central Africa that doesn’t exist anymore. I learned to like yams, and that persistent diarrhea is neither fun nor funny. I spent a summer backpacking across Europe. I learned that baguettes can tear up the roof of your mouth, to appreciate the privacy of a compartment in a train, and to always keep my eyes on my bags: someone lifted my satchel while I was navigating Heathrow, trying to get to my gate for my flight home from London. I even spent time in Japan during my sabbatical, between earning my master’s in California and starting on my Ph.D. at one of the less famous of the Ivy League schools. I never thought I’d end up settling down here; but, after Gramps passed away and Gram soon followed him, I found myself in possession of the old farmhouse, and on the faculty at William Lawrence.
For a few years now, my girlfriend, Ava, has been living with me. I think we both assume that we'll get married someday, life seems to keep getting in the way of 'making it official' or evn making long term plans. I mean, the old farmhouse still feels empty without my grandparents here. All the upstairs rooms, except for the one we sleep in, are empty and unfurnished. There was a time that we had shared our dreams of filling up those rooms with our children. Maybe two boys and two girls. We’d make a ‘play room’ in the attic, they could pretend it was the bridge of a pirate ship or a cabin on the frontier. Then we had to admit to ourselves that we would never have that. The tumor was benign, but Ava could never carry a child, not when much of the requisite plumbing had to be removed along with the tumor. She was depressed for a few months, we both were. We went through all those stages of grief for the children we could never have together. I'm thinking of propsing that we adopt, of even fill the hose with foster kids, but everytime I even hint in that direction, she 'shuts down'. Maybe she feels her mortality and doesn't want to commit? Maybe it is still too painful to seriously consider the responsibility, to take care of kids that are not 'her's'? Regardless, I'm doing my best to tread lightly and to be patient. After all, it isn't like we're in a hurry and the doctors say that the odds are good that tumors won't come back. I hope we’re approaching the ‘acceptance’ phase now, however, Ava still has hesitancy with being intimate. I don’t know if it's side effects from her 'meds', the psychological blow of not being able to be a mother, the hormone replacement treatments, or a combination, but, she hasn’t been ‘in the mood’for quite a while. Sometimes it makes me feel like we’re an old married couple. We sit on the porch, holding hands, sipping lemonade or iced tea, chatting about the trips we’ll go on, or plans for the garden or whatever. We skipped the wedding, honeymoon, and childrearing years, and moved right into the comfortable companionship stage. I'm actually ok with all that, I can think of worse things.
The last time I brought up fostering, Ava countered with converting the house to a bed and breakfast (we are both fans of the TV show, Newhart, from the 1980’s), or a boarding house. I’m not sure what we’ll do for customers. Centerville is the middle of nowhere. Ever since the plant closed, the college is the only large-ish business in town, everything else is in Springdale or further, and we don’t have many tourists. If we ran a boarding house, we could potentially have students as tenants, but the college might frown on an instructor also being his students’ landlord. If we opened a bed and breakfast, we’d only be busy during ‘parents’ week’. We'd be running it more as a hobby than a business. What would be the alternative? Sell? A couple Greek organizations have expressed interest, but I don’t think I could ever sell. I have a sentimental attachment, and Gram would roll in her grave if the front parlor where Gramps and I played poker and where my best friend and I played Monopoly, became where frat boys played beer pong.
Ava and I were playing cards and chatting, bouncing ideas back and forth about what to do over spring break.
“How about a road trip? We could rent a car and circle out to Monument Valley and back.”
“Maybe, but, I’m not sure I want to be so far away” Ava replied, unenthusiastically.
“What’s up, Buttercup?”
“It’s Bea. I’m afraid she’s going to need me and I’ll be hundreds of miles away.”
Beatrix McGuinness, or Bea, or Trixie, is a short, cute, curvy redhead and Ava’s best friend. I’ve known her for almost as long as I’ve known Ava. The two of them seemed inseparable, constantly texting each other about ‘every little thing’, they went out for ‘girls’ nights’ or on shopping excursions together or whatever. Trixie and her fiancé, Joe, would often double-date with us, or come over for cookouts, scrabble tournaments, or just to hang out together. She has a quality that I don’t have a label for, something about her just makes me want to take care of her, something in addition to her bubbly, youthful, honest personality. Well, I should say had.
About nine months ago, Joe was in an accident. I don’t know what caused him to swerve. Knowing his personality, I suspect something small and furry was in his path. He wrapped himself and his Kawasaki around a tree. I like to think he didn’t suffer. The Beatrix I knew until then died too. The brightness was gone from her eyes, she became introverted. She isolated herself physically and socially. These things are understandable, I could empathize, I felt her sadness, her grief. After all she lost someone she loved. I wanted to gather her up in my arms and make everything alright. I still wanted to take care of her, but I knew that other than supporting her, Ava and I really couldn’t help. She would have to come to terms with her loss. I mourned with her. I mourned the her she was. I knew she was under a lot of stress as well. Joe didn’t have much life insurance, it covered the funeral but there wasn’t much left over. Beatrix works as a teacher’s aide at a local primary school, I know it doesn’t pay well. With Joe’s income gone, I don’t know how she pays the rent.
“Look, the mountains aren’t going anywhere, why don’t you invite Bea to visit us for spring break? You two can have a slumber party, do each other’s toenails, whatever. You know, girl stuff. Or is she going to visit her folks?” I offered.
“Honey, I love you!” She said as she bounced out of her chair and to the other room to grab her phone. Momentarily I overheard one side of their conversation. I couldn’t make out every word but I could tell by Ava’s tone of voice that she was cajoling Bea in a good-natured way. She walked back as she was wrapping up her call. “…oh, seriously we both miss you and it was actually his idea, you won’t be imposing...”
“You won’t be imposing!” I added loudly enough for Beatrix to hear me on the other end of the call.
“You will? That’s great! Yes, we’ll color eggs and whatnot…it’ll be fun! Okay, see you soon! Bye!” Ava finished her call.
“She’s coming?” I asked.
“Yup!”
“I’m glad. How is she?”
"Still in a funk, I'm worried about her."
"Me too, but what can we do?"
"We'll have to wait for her to come around, be there for her when she's ready. Literally what else can we do?"
Beatrix came and stayed with us for the week. She participated in what 'events' we planned (decorating blown eggs, making omelettes, playing cards) but we could tell she was just being polite, she wasn't 'present'. She didn't talk about Joe. She moped. Ava and I talked about what our next step should be. Near the end of the break Ava made her an offer.
"Bea, it isn't good to be alone in that apartment of yours. why don't you just stay with us for a while? We have a bunch of empty rooms, I bet you could break your lease."
"I couldn't, I'd be in your way..."
"Nonsense." I interrupted. "Ava and I want to convert this place into a boarding house, you could be a 'practice tenant' for us, you'd be helping us out. Besides the rent here is cheap, whip the landscaping into shape and you can stay for free. Please, Trixie my Pixie, I hate doing the yard work and I don't know how to be a landlord yet."
"But my stuff..." Bea protested.
"Bring the essencials, from what's left put the stuff you care about in storage and sell the rest. If you don't like it here, we'll help you find a new place, we'll even help you find a roommate if you want."
"Let me think it over, okay?"
"Sure."
Eventually, she came around to the idea and Ava helped her place ads on Craigslist to sell off her IKEA kitchen set and a few other things. I rented a U-Haul and helped her move in. We had our first 'tenant'.
For a few weeks after she moved in, she rarely left her room. When she did it was to eat or work, just the essentials. She moped. Her progress seemed to be sliding backwards since spring break. Ava started her on 'gardening therapy' and afternoons when I came home from work I was greeted by Beatrix working in the yard; planting flowers, or pulling weeds. My greeting of 'How's Trix?' would be answered with a 'working hard' or 'keeping busy'. Not even an 'ok', but at least she was talking, and out of her room.
The seasons progressed into summer, the front of the house was starting to look like a well manicured English garden. Beatrix was starting to come out of her shell, spending time with us at dinner and after, engaging in conversations. She was still profoundly sad, but not antisocial. On the anniversary of Joe's death, we all went to visit his grave. That evening Ava and Beatrix stayed up late talking. I went to bed while they were still in conversation, I was awakened when I heard Bea get out of our bed to go to the bathroom (apparently they continued their talk in bed). I asked Ava if they'd be more comfortable if I slept somewhere else, she assured me is wasn't necessary. A while later I remember reaching over Ava to rub Beatrix's back as she wept, in an attempt to console her.
In the following few weeks, as often as not, Bea shared our bed. Sometimes we just all went to bed at the same time; sometimes, she'd climb in in the middle of the night. Always we all snuggled, entirely 'rated G'.
One morning in late July or early August, a sunbeam woke me up. Beatrix was in my arms . She must've felt me stir, she looked up at me. I whispered:
"How's my pixie, Trixie?"
"Snuggly, warm, still sleepy, hungry."
"She's cuddly and darn cute too, even first thing in the morning." She gave me a squeeze, and I saw a hint of a smile. My heart skipped a beat. I might've fallen for her right then. "Would you like waffles?" I asked
"I would, but not yet, I'm comfy. Hold me for a while."
I resisted the urge to kiss her.
Aound that time, when classes were about to start; Ava (to my delight) became more amorous. She still wasn't interested in anything beyond '1st base' but, it was wonderful. We'd go to bed and neck until we heard Beatrix walking down the hall. She must've caught us once, because she started making extra noise before coming to our room.
One evening I'd gone to bed before the girls. I was at the point when my limbs were heavy and I was on the edge of drifting off when I felt someone slide in next to me. I leaned over to give her a kiss and got a face full of hair instead. Her hair smelt delightfully of strawberries. She must've just taken a shower. I leaned in and embraced her, her skin was delightfully smooth, had she lotioned herself after bathing? I slid my hands down her back and cupped underneath.
I said, "You smell wonderful." I thought, "I want you."
"Why, thank you." She replied, as she snuggled into my embrace.
Ava whispered something in my ear, I didn't catch what she said. A wave of guilt overcame me. Ava's voice came from behind me, it wasn't her backside I as fondling. I turned my head in Ava's direction and said:
"I'm sorry honey, I was half asleep and wasn't thinking straight, what did you say?"
"I said to take care of her, she needs this, I think both of you do."
"What? Wait...what?"
"Sometimes I think you must be made of lead, you are so dense. A naked woman is in bed with you, she's feeling frisky, and I just told you to take care of her. Have fun. We'll chat in the morning." She mussed my hair and started to walk away, she and Trixie exchanged waves. I noticed how great she looked, silhouetted in the doorway, wearing her sheer nightgown. Part of me involuntarily responded.
"I felt that." Trixie said.
"Hmm...what?" I didn't get much of a chance to reply before she climbed on me and our lips overlapped.
"Jake, I know it isn't fair of me to ask, but, I need you to love me tonight."
"I can't just turn that on and off."
"Could you try for me? Pretend if you have to? I'm tired of walking around like I'm a ghost, watching my own life from the outside. The other day I finally felt something, being held by someone I cared about, I finally felt... I don't know how to say this, alive? human? like a person and not a puppet? Like a woman. I need to see if I can get more of that, and I need it from someone I can trust."
"You feel like a woman to me." I joked as I squeezed her a little tighter. "But seriously, I don't know if I can."
"I think you can, judging by how you're poking me."
"It's difficult for me to explain, and I feel guilty, can you be patient with me for a minute? I have more than one concern."
"Okay."
"Obviously I want to, that isn't the problem. You are wonderful, and attractive, and cuddly, and nice, and I love you."
"But..." She prompted.
"But, I feel like I'm being unfaithful."
"Ava and I talked, she knows what we'll be doing, It was her idea to see if this helps me, and she wants to give this to you. She knows that things have been difficult. This is like a gift from her for both of us. You are not cheating."
"That's not it. In theory, two people can be together and just be friends or acquaintances even, and still be partners in bed. I've never done that. That's what I meant when I said 'I couldn't turn it on and off', not now. One day not too long ago, someone woke up in my arms and smiled up at me and I fell for her, and now I want her to stay with me. Ava doesn't know that I'm in love with you. I can't just have sex with you like Ava gave the 'green light' to. Making love with you would be cheating on her because she doesn't know how I feel."
"Ava's right you are dense."
"What?"
"Of course she knows."
"How could she know? I wasn't sure I knew until just now."
"Because she loves you, and she knows you better than you know yourself."
"I don't understand."
"You're still in love with Ava, right? Do you love her any less than you did five minutes ago, or five months ago?"
I thought for a moment. "No, my feelings for her haven't changed. If anything I am grateful to her for this."
"Like I said, we talked about this, she knows we're in love."
"Wait, we are in love?"
"Ever since I woke up in your arms and you offered to make me waffles. Well sometime before that, but that's when I admitted it to myself."
"but..but...oh, that makes me so happy, but..."
"Jake, you're making this more difficult than it needs to be. I'm not an expert, but I have siblings. There is no doubt that my parents and grandparents love us all, why would you think you could only love one woman? Or that only one woman could love you? If love worked that way no one would be able to to have more than one child."
"I never thought about that, I am only child, and technically an orphan."
"Jake, we can have a deep philosophical discussion about this some other time. For tonight, less talking, more kissing."
....
After a few moments she asked: "So, you said you want me to stay?"
"As long as you want."
"Forever?"
"I would like that. Still, tonight we can't go any further, and I still feel guilty."
"Why not?"
"I've had quite a 'dry spell', I'm pretty sure I don't have a condom that isn't expired."
"I'm on the pill, that's one problem solved. Why do you still feel guilty?"
"I started before Ava gave her 'go ahead', I knew it was your lovely posterior I was fondling, and not Ava's. Your heights are different, I recognized the scent of your shampoo, you cuddle differently. There was no doubt in my mind who was with me. Before tonight, I was resisting crossing a line for a while. When you snuggled up, even though I realized is was you and not Ava, I didn't stop."
"I guess I'm flattered? I never thought I would be by someone grabbing my ass in the dark."
"It's a great ass, I don't regret that part."
"I think she'll forgive you, considering..." She said as we went past the point of merely being friends, and became lovers.
"I love you, Trixie my pixie."
That morning in August, a sunbeam woke me up. My lover, Beatrix, was in my arms . She must've felt me stir, she looked up at me. I whispered:
"How's my pixie, Trixie?"
"Snuggly, warm, still sleepy, hungry."
"She's cuddly and darn cute too, even first thing in the morning." She gave me a squeeze, and I saw a warm smile. My heart skipped a beat. I might've fallen for her, all over again. "I love you, would you like waffles?" I asked
"I would, but not yet, I'm comfy. Hold me for a while."
I gave in to the urge to kiss her, she returned my affections. After a few minutes, she got out of bed, put on Ava's robe and rolled up the sleeves.
"I'm going to make breakfast. Do you want eggs too? or just waffles?" she asked.
"Both, and bacon, lots and lots of bacon!"
"Okay!.... la-la,la,la,la..."
She skipped out of the room, singing a nonsense tune. I went to brush my teeth and took a shower. Ava was sitting on the bed when I walked back into the bedroom, still using a towel on my hair.
"You're a good boy!" She said with a grin, "Our Trixie is so happy! She's humming, she's skipping! Come here, I have something for you." She pulled me towards her by the towel around my waist. She guided me down to a kiss, one hand on the nape of my neck, the other casting the towel aside.
"Mmmm" she cooed, "Be quick!"
"Really?"
"I am so worked up right now, I'm not going to last. Besides, I don't want my breakfast to get cold."
....
That Saturday the three of us tried to make up for the previous year or so of being abstinent. Bea and Ava took turns with me, I did my best to keep up. (I couldn't, I'm only human) Once I saw them exchange a 'high five' as Bea was leaving the bedroom and Ava was entering. I was literally being tag-teamed. Several hours after breakfast, it was Trixie's 'turn'. She a was astride my waist, we were necking. Because of our height difference; when our faces aligned, the rest of us didn't. I considered this a feature, not a bug. I loved kissing her and not having to stretch to reach her backside.
"I'm sorry, Trixie, my pixie. The spirit is willing but...Maybe, I just need some time, and maybe some lunch?" I apologized, the two of them had worn me out.
"Don't be sorry, I'm having so much fun. I'm happy smooching."
"Me too." I was occupied, so I didn't notice when Ava joined us in bed. I did notice when she started using her lips and tongue on me.
"Oh, gods in heaven, this is incredible!" I said.
"Eh?" Bea hadn't yet realized what was going on.
"Scooch back, sweetie" Ava said as she guided me into Bea. "See, you're not too tired, Jakey." then her lips took Bea's place on mine.
"You two are going to kill me, it's just too much, but this is how I want to go."
Some minutes later, they switched (they were 'finishing' before me)
"Relax Jake, I'm doing all the work now" Ava told me from her perch.
I didn't respond, I was busy smooching with Bea...I blacked out sometime later, completely, blissfully, spent.
....
It was a fun and fractic couple of weeks, that 'honeymoon' of our new-found relationship, I was exhausted, happily so. We were all so happy and so in love. Eventually, Ava and Bea worked out some sort of system. Some nights we'd all go to bed together, snuggle then sleep. Some nights just Bea and I would go to bed, and start off snuggling and eventually sleep. Sometimes I would only sleep with Ava. Ava always wanted attention the mornings after Bea and I were intimate. It was one of the evenings that we were all together when I brought up some of the townsfolk giving me the 'stink-eye'. It took me a while to notice some of the odd looks I was getting, we weren't hiding our feelings for each other and maybe some folks seemed to think it was odd I had a beauty on each arm, or when sometimes I displayed my affections in public to Bea one day and Ava the next.
"It's one of the downsides of living in a small town" I said. "Everyone knows your business. I guess we'll have to 'tone it down'. Personally I feel ten feet tall, I'd like to brag about how in love with both of you I am, but people talk, and that talk can have negative effects on our jobs."
"Busybodies!" Ava said, as a curse.
"Busybodies on school boards and tenure committees." I replied.
"You need more tenants for your boarding house." Bea added. "Then no one will give us a second glance."
"I'd been putting off placing those ads, I guess it's time."
I placed ads in the local newspaper and on Craigslist. We hadn't gotten any solid candidates before Bea threw gasoline on the fire, a couple weeks later.
"Let's have a baby." She said out of the blue, one afternoon.
"I'd like that. Now? But, what will the neighbors think when you start to show? Maybe we need to build a cover story."
"No, silly. not 'now' but sometime soon. I'd like to have a baby for you and Ava to raise. I'll be 'Auntie Trixie'. We'll think of something for a cover."
"That might be the kindest thing I've ever heard, that you'd give up a child for Ava and I. I can't... I couldn't let you do that."
"Why not? I know you and Ava talked about having kids. I know that Ava was crushed when she had to have that surgery, what that meant. I love you both, I want to do this for you."
"I couldn't, I'm not sure how to phrase this, It'd be too complicated?"
"Complicated? no, it'd be easy. I stop taking my pills, we do what we do, and nine months later, a baby's here."
"That's not what I meant. I love you and when we have a child, he or she will remind me of you, they will look like you, they may have mannerisms that you have. Oh, they'll be sooo cute! I would not be able to separate my love for you and my love for them. I couldn't raise them as if you were not their mother."
"Oh, Jake, that makes me feel all squishy, I love you. Dammit, why does this have to be so complicated?"
"I'm not sure if it'll work, but after you and I have a baby, maybe you can carry one for Ava."
"You just said..."
"One of Ava's ovaries is still functional, she still pops an egg every month, or every other month. Maybe if we do in vitro, after we make 'Trixie junior', you can carry for Ava and I."
"Oh, that's different. And you are greedy! You want a baby for Ava and one from me."
"Did I say only one?"
"You are terrible, and I love you."
"You know, we should practice, this whole making babies thing. Make sure we're doing it correctly"
"You're supposed to be making dinner."
"Then we'd better hurry. If Ava gets home before we're done, she's likely to kick you out and take over!"
She ran upstairs, leaving a trail of clothes in her wake. I didn't get around to making dinner. Ava kindly let us finish before we ordered Chinese food.
....
Not long after, we took on our first paying tenant. Ironically she used to live in the neighborhood. We were friends as kids. Ava, Trixie and I decided to keep our unique relationship on the 'down low'. We didn't want to scare our tenant away and we hoped that we'd still be able to fill the empty rooms.
For as long as I can remember I’ve been a fan of Japanese culture. Not just the history; Bushido and samurais and all that, but pop culture too. When I was a kid, on weekends I watched poorly dubbed episodes of Ultraman and 'Kaijū' (giant monster) movies on the UHF channel, and Anime like Speed Racer and Star Blazers after school. I'd read manga at the local comic book store until they'd kick me out. So, it was an easy choice for me as to where I wanted to spend my sabbatical between earning my master's and starting my doctoral studies, (five years ago) I spent a month in Japan.
It was glorious. I enjoyed being a fish out of water. Japan was so different that visiting Europe, it felt more foreign. More so than even Africa did. I wished (multiple times) that I spent more time learning to speak Japanese. I'd learned enough to barely be polite, to order meals, ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ but not much else.
For the final leg of my trip, I was following the 'golden route' between Tokyo and Kyoto, before flying home out of Osaka. Going out of my way to do it slowly, stopping at small towns on the way. Gotemba was a resort town that served tourists visiting Hakone National Park, Mount Fuji, or the shopping outlet near the edge of town. I stayed just outside of Gotemba in a small, traditional inn (ryokan, see note 1), one of several that featured baths fed by the local hot springs, and that offered traditional accommodations and meals. After the dizzying pace in Tokyo, the peaceful, low-tech ryokan was just what the doctor ordered. I spent my days visiting the local sites, after breakfast in my room. Returning in time for the evening meal and a bath. I was convinced the pretty, petite room attendant (Nakai-san, see note 2) was psychic. She always seemed to be at my elbow when I needed something; towels or tea or help tying my yukata, (see note 3) correctly. She transformed my room after serving me my dinner, a futon replacing the low dining table and legless chair, seemingly magically, while I had a soak in the cedar-wood bathtub just outside. I would muse to myself how wonderful it would be to have her join me in my bath, or scrub my back, or keep me warm while I slept. I developed a bit of a crush on her. I loved having her around. I probably spent more time at the ryokan that I needed to, just so I could be with her. She tolerated my terrible Japanese with a polite nod whenever I asked for something. I didn’t think she spoke any English, all too soon I was getting ready to check out:
<in broken Japanese> “Nakai-san, it was a pleasure being taken care of by you, thank you for making my stay pleasant, I…”
Of course, I never expected to see her again
….
Phil Crenshaw is on the political science faculty at the college. Phil and I may not see eye to eye on several social issues but I’ve never actually seen him kick a puppy or steal from the poor box. I consider him an ‘all right’ guy even if I find some of his opinions reprehensible. (I did not ‘choose’ to be straight, why assert that some people ‘choose’ to be gay?) Two weeks ago, I went over to his place to pick up some paperwork for a career development seminar, of which we were on the committee.
I knocked on the frame of the screen door of his first-floor apartment. He yelled for me to come in without getting out of his recliner. He was having a beer and watching Fox “news”.
“Hey Jake, the folder is on the kitchen table. Would you like a beer or something while you’re here? Grab a seat…Hey Suzuki? Could you fetch a drink for my friend here?” The last comment was directed towards to woman washing dishes. She turned and our eyes met.
“Tea, if you have it Nakai-san” I said to her
“I would not serve you the tea that is available here, Goshujin-sama, I suggest either water or beer. And, please, to you I am Suzi.”
“Arigatou (Thank you), Suzi-chan, I’d like a beer. And it’s nice to see you again.”
She re-washed a tumbler, and put it on a tray with a bottle of Bud-lite (technically ‘beer’). She carried the tray over to where I was. In one fluid motion she placed the tray on the table and knelt. She then poured my beer. Her movements were graceful, I felt like I was at a tea ceremony. She presented the beer, and held the bottle, ready to top off my glass. I thanked her again with a nod.
“Just what is going on?!” Phil asked from the doorway. I imagine it looked odd, his housekeeper on her knees, serving me as if his kitchen was a hostess club. “Jake, you’re going to get me in trouble! Suzuki please!”
"Please what, Mr. Crenshaw? Am I doing something wrong? And as I’ve told you repeatedly, my name is Yamamoto Tsubaki, you may call me Ms. Yamamoto, not Suzuki” Suzi replied to him sternly, then sweetly to me she cooed, “Goshujin-sama, allow me. You must be thirsty.” Her hand brushed mine as she emptied the bottle, my heart skipped a beat.
“You always seem to know how to take care of me, thank you”
“Is there anything else I can do for you?” she asked.
I replied in broken Japanese, “Suzi-chan, it was a pleasure being taken care of by you, thank you for making my stay pleasant.” Then in English. “It was nice to see you, how is it that you are here? Centerville of all places? I thought I’d never see you again”
“Some time ago the Ryokan closed, I was unemployed. I took a job with an agency that places housekeepers overseas and I ended up here after a few placements. Fate is strange, I thought you lived in Massachusetts?”
“I did, five years ago. But I grew up here, and I live here now.”
“Ahem.” Phil coughed into his hand. “Are you two done flirting on my dime?”
“Mr. Crenshaw, I had completed my duties some time ago, waiting on your guest I did as a courtesy as it is outside of my job description. Since you seem to be unsatisfied with my job performance, perhaps it is best I retire for the evening.” She gracefully rose from her kneeling position, as if gravity didn’t apply to her. “Excuse me for leaving first, it was a pleasure to see you Goshujin-sama.”
“Goodnight.”
She bowed and left, a moment later I heard the screen door close behind her.
“I just don’t understand women” Phil offered as he finished his beer.
“Neither do I, Phil. It looks like it’s time for me to be going home as well, goodnight.”
....
A few days later, I stepped to the front entrance of the house, I had my key out, approaching the lock. When the door opened and I was greeted by Suzi in a stereotypical but conservative maid uniform; a dark blue dress with a white bodice and apron edged with understated lacy frills. It covered her from neck to knees, she looked not at all like a cos-player, she looked like a maid, a very cute maid. I was surprised, frozen in place, agape, my hand still holding my keys hovering where the lock should be.
“Okaerinasai, anata! Gohan wo taberu? Ofuro ni suru? Soretomo, wa. ta. shi?” (see note 5) she asked, seductively.
I couldn’t respond. She tugged on my sleeve and led me inside, and to the couch. Once I sat, she gently lifted my chin and wiped the corner of my mouth with her thumb. I saw her pour tea, she waited for some of the fog to clear from my brain before passing me the cup. It tasted like I remembered form my time in Japan, just how I liked it: not too strong, not too hot, no sugar.
“Arigatou, Suzi-chan, the tea is perfect.” I realized that, without my noticing, she had removed my shoes. I was still in a daze “I am pleasantly surprised to see you, when did you become my maid?”
“I have started today, I am yours. It will be official as soon as you fill out the paperwork.”
“I can’t afford you.”
“It does not matter, I will be returning my salary to our family account. I will work for room and board.”
“You don’t understand. I don’t have a room for you, no furniture…”
“I need to maintain employment for my VISA, I do not need anything else. I do not need a room, I can sleep on the floor, or your bed is big, I could sleep with you and Miss Ava.”
“Oh, Bea will not like that.” I responded under my breath, awakened from my daze.
“What was that, Goshujin-sama?”
“I was thinking aloud, sorry. I don’t get it Suzi-chan, why did you quit your other placement? What happened with Phil Crenshaw? Did he mistreat you in some way? If he did...”
“No, Goshujin-sama, he is harmless, but I have decided that I will have no master but you.” She said as she again filled my cup.
“What?”
“When I first served you in Gotemba, something happened, I don’t know the words…I was so content? Fulfilled by addressing your everyday needs. I felt like I was what I was meant to be. I felt I could not go home: I waited for you to awaken in the morning, I listened for you to fall asleep at night. I waited anxiously for you to return when you went out for your walks. I was charmed by the attention you paid me. Then you confessed to me. Something else happened, something mysterious, once you were gone, I felt a longing for you. There was a hole in my life where you used to be, I wanted you back. When I saw you at my former employer’s apartment, I felt it again, that contentment? I knew what I had to do. I knew where I needed to be. I still do not understand it, but that is how it is.”
“Suzi-chan, you know that doesn’t sound like something that actually happens, right? It isn’t healthy for you to have gotten so attached to me, I am not worthy and you shouldn’t feel that you need me in your life to be happy. It was wonderful in Gotemba and I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to… I mean, that’s why I left the way I did. I shouldn’t have confessed to you, I couldn’t have a relationship with you then, when I knew I would leave after a few days. I would have been cruel to leave you and we’d both be sad. Here we are again, I don’t want to hurt you. It might be for the best if you find another placement…”
“It does not matter…”
“We’re out of bread and some other things.” Ava called from the kitchen, unaware of the conversation Suzi and I were having. She then walked into the parlor where I was sitting on the couch. “I’m running to the store, if you think of anything else we need, text me. Oh, and good job finding us some help, Suzi’s great! See you soon.” she gave me a peck on the cheek and headed out the door, I didn’t get a chance to respond.
“Goshujin-sama, it does not matter. Miss Ava is ‘first wife’, I will be your girl on the side. I will convince her to share...”
“What?!”
“I do not care that you are ‘not available’, if there isn’t room in your heart for me. I will still be content just being with you. I will serve you, I will clean your house and cook your meals… Let me greet you when you come home from work… I will scrub your back in the bath, at night I’ll keep you warm in bed, and whatever else you want of me. I’ll be your toy, make me your plaything. You can do anything to my body, order me to do anything to yours, the things that Miss Ava will not do. Make me your possession, your servant, your anything. Name it and I am yours. The touch of your hand the other day stoked those embers within me, I have ached with the longing for you, for years. Please, Master.”
I was starting to get scared. This did not sound healthy, or rational. "I can’t, we can’t…. This is too much...we barely spoke before now, we had some pleasant time together but nothing really happened! Where did this come from?”
“I do not know, it is like a spell was cast on me, and I could not get thoughts of you out of my head; everyday thoughts, ordinary thoughts, lewd thoughts. For years you were present in my dreams, on my mind. I tried to forget you, or to overwrite your influence on me. I am sorry, I have even tried to be with other men. I tried; but, when I was with them I could only think of you. I know it is not fair of me to ask, I may be a terrible person, but I need you to fulfill your promise to me, to punish me. Please Master…I am on fire.”
I was dumbfounded, I didn’t even realize when she took away my teacup and then laid across my lap. “Please what?”
“Please, Master…” She pulled up her skirt and raised her hips. “Until it is all pink…please.” she begged.
My hand seemed to move of its own volition. I spanked her. Each clap caused a squeal to escape her, each louder than the last. After a dozen I stopped. She was quivering and sobbing. “What have I done? Oh, Suzi I am so sorry!”
“Please, Master...” She guided my hand to where she wanted it to be, she kept her hand over mine, pressing my fingers.
Moments later she was huddled in my embrace. Clutching my shirt, and weeping on my chest. “I’m sorry, Suzi. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t want to hurt you. Please stop crying.” I tried to console her, as I stroked her hair.
She looked up to me, took my hand, and started kissing it: the palm, each fingertip, all received little kisses. “You do not understand, Master, I am not hurt, I am elated! You have made your servant so happy.” She held my hand against her cheek, still slick with tears. “My tears are from joy and relief. Maybe it is finally over. My life had been torturous. I knew exactly what was missing, what caused me to ache with longing: my master’s touch, but, I had no way to get it. Somehow that promise you made smoldered within me. Now that I found you, I can finally be happy. It is like a weight has been lifted from me. Thank you, Master, thank you!”
“Suzi-chan, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I did that caused you to suffer so much anguish, but I feel responsible, so...”
“Thank you, Master.”
“Suzi, please, I feel so guilty, please don’t call me ‘Master’.”
“Yes, Mast…um, Goshujin-sama, does that mean I can stay with you?”
“I’ll get some furniture, and set up a room for you, you must not come to my bed.”
“If Miss Ava…”
“No, you must not ask that of Ava, please, I can’t…can’t you, I mean for now can you just be the maid?”
“Yes, Goshujin-sama, I said that I can be anything for you.”
“Thank you, Suzi, I don’t know what to do. I’d like it if we were friends. I hope you understand that that we just did, what I just did to you, we shouldn’t have. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not your fault. I’ll tell Ava about it, I don’t know how yet. But, until I do, can you wait? Put off telling her?”
“Of course, Goshujin-sama. Is there anything else?”
I noticed she was uncomfortable. “Are you alright?” I asked, concerned.
“Yes, Goshujin-sama, I am well; however, before Miss Ava gets back, I’d like to change, you…um… I…my panties are soaked.”
“Please, Suzi, go ahead.”
She rushed upstairs somewhere, I noted that my pant leg was also wet where she sat on me. I ran upstairs to wash up and change. I had just put on a fresh pair of jeans when I heard the door opening. I rushed down before I had a chance to change my shirt.
“Let me help with the bags.” I said to Ava as she came in.
“Thanks.” We quickly put the groceries away. “Hey what’s on your shirt? Did one of the cartons leak something?”
“Actually, it’s tears. Suzi was crying, I tried to console her.”
“Is she homesick?”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“Well, it’s a nice thing, to try and take care of her.” She gave me a kiss, that rapidly deepened. Before I knew it, we had worked our way to the couch in the parlor, each of us in a different state of undress. “Ava, not that I don’t like it, but what’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing yet, and nothing will as long as you still have those jeans on, lose ‘em!” She demanded. I complied. “There’s something, is it your cologne? it’s driving me wild!”
“I’m not wearing any.”
“Then there’s something about the maid’s perfume on you….”
Notes:
1) Ryokan: A traditional/rustic Japanese inn. Often combines services of a hotel, restaurant, and bathhouse. Known for being low tech, may have traditional rooms with reed mats for floor coverings, paper room partitions, futons on the floor for sleeping instead of beds. Often meals are served in the rooms. These inns are for relaxing, at a slow pace. They often purposely lack some modern amenities like telephones, TV’s, entertainment etc.
2) Nakai-san: literally translates as “Ms. Room Attendant” it is considered polite to refer to people in the service industry my job title and appending the appropriate honorific. i.e. ‘Mr. Shopkeeper, Ms. Manager’. The honorific “-san” for all practical purposes is neutral. Not overly formal nor making a statement of rank/status. “-chan” is sort of a ‘sweet’ or baby-talk way of saying “-san” most common towards girls or children, more familiar/affectionate than ‘san’.
3) Yukata: resort wear loaned to guests at Ryokan or Onsen (hot spring/bathhouse). Consists of loose pants and a robe, belted at the waist. Typically worn by all guests.
4) Goshujin-sama: translates as ‘master’. The honorific ‘-sama’ denotes referring to one of higher rank. Like a knight being ‘Sir’. In this context, Suzi maybe riffing on how customers are greeted at a maid-café, or engaging in playful submissiveness. Goshujin-sama is how a maid/butler/servant would address their employer (the Master of the house) or it is also an old-fashioned way of referring to one’s husband.
5) “Okaerinasai, anata! Gohan wo taberu? Ofuro ni suru? Soretomo, wa. ta. shi?” roughly translates as “Welcome home dear! Would you like dinner? A bath? Or perhaps… me?” It’s a cliché in anime/manga and romantic comedies in Japan (and elsewhere). The greeting is often delivered by a newlywed wife (or other love interest) to her husband (or boyfriend/whatever) as he comes home from work, with seductive emphasis on the disjointed “watashi” (me). It would be a cliché within the cliché if she delivers the line while only wearing an apron. A similar cliché greeting would be “Okaerinasaimase, Goshujin-sama”, (“Welcome home, Master”, or “Welcome back, Master”). A greeting that customers receive at a Maid Café or cosplay restaurant, based upon stereotypical greeting servants would deliver to their wealthy employer.
I was raised (mostly) by my grandparents. I was still an infant when my mother and I moved here after my father passed away. He was a Warrant Officer in the Navy. He died in a training accident. Mom died from cancer when I was seven years old, so from then on, it was just Gram and Gramps and I that lived in this old farmhouse, just off campus.
I always thought I’d get out of this small town, settle someplace either more cosmopolitan or exotic than this Podunk backwater. I tried to experience different locales and cultures. I went away to a state school in the Pacific Northwest for my bachelor’s degree, paid for by survivor benefits from the Navy. I took a 'gap-year' and spent it in the Peace Corps, trying to help kids stay in school in some country in central Africa that doesn’t exist anymore. I learned to like yams, and that persistent diarrhea is neither fun nor funny. I spent a summer backpacking across Europe. I learned that baguettes can tear up the roof of your mouth, to appreciate the privacy of a compartment in a train, and to always keep my eyes on my bags: someone lifted my satchel while I was navigating Heathrow, trying to get to my gate for my flight home from London. I even spent time in Japan during my sabbatical, between earning my master’s in California and starting on my Ph.D. at one of the less famous of the Ivy League schools. I never thought I’d end up settling down here; but, after Gramps passed away and Gram soon followed him, I found myself in possession of the old farmhouse, and on the faculty at William Lawrence.
For a few years now, my girlfriend, Ava, has been living with me. I think we both assume that we'll get married someday, life seems to keep getting in the way of 'making it official' or evn making long term plans. I mean, the old farmhouse still feels empty without my grandparents here. All the upstairs rooms, except for the one we sleep in, are empty and unfurnished. There was a time that we had shared our dreams of filling up those rooms with our children. Maybe two boys and two girls. We’d make a ‘play room’ in the attic, they could pretend it was the bridge of a pirate ship or a cabin on the frontier. Then we had to admit to ourselves that we would never have that. The tumor was benign, but Ava could never carry a child, not when much of the requisite plumbing had to be removed along with the tumor. She was depressed for a few months, we both were. We went through all those stages of grief for the children we could never have together. I'm thinking of propsing that we adopt, of even fill the hose with foster kids, but everytime I even hint in that direction, she 'shuts down'. Maybe she feels her mortality and doesn't want to commit? Maybe it is still too painful to seriously consider the responsibility, to take care of kids that are not 'her's'? Regardless, I'm doing my best to tread lightly and to be patient. After all, it isn't like we're in a hurry and the doctors say that the odds are good that tumors won't come back. I hope we’re approaching the ‘acceptance’ phase now, however, Ava still has hesitancy with being intimate. I don’t know if it's side effects from her 'meds', the psychological blow of not being able to be a mother, the hormone replacement treatments, or a combination, but, she hasn’t been ‘in the mood’for quite a while. Sometimes it makes me feel like we’re an old married couple. We sit on the porch, holding hands, sipping lemonade or iced tea, chatting about the trips we’ll go on, or plans for the garden or whatever. We skipped the wedding, honeymoon, and childrearing years, and moved right into the comfortable companionship stage. I'm actually ok with all that, I can think of worse things.
The last time I brought up fostering, Ava countered with converting the house to a bed and breakfast (we are both fans of the TV show, Newhart, from the 1980’s), or a boarding house. I’m not sure what we’ll do for customers. Centerville is the middle of nowhere. Ever since the plant closed, the college is the only large-ish business in town, everything else is in Springdale or further, and we don’t have many tourists. If we ran a boarding house, we could potentially have students as tenants, but the college might frown on an instructor also being his students’ landlord. If we opened a bed and breakfast, we’d only be busy during ‘parents’ week’. We'd be running it more as a hobby than a business. What would be the alternative? Sell? A couple Greek organizations have expressed interest, but I don’t think I could ever sell. I have a sentimental attachment, and Gram would roll in her grave if the front parlor where Gramps and I played poker and where my best friend and I played Monopoly, became where frat boys played beer pong.
Ava and I were playing cards and chatting, bouncing ideas back and forth about what to do over spring break.
“How about a road trip? We could rent a car and circle out to Monument Valley and back.”
“Maybe, but, I’m not sure I want to be so far away” Ava replied, unenthusiastically.
“What’s up, Buttercup?”
“It’s Bea. I’m afraid she’s going to need me and I’ll be hundreds of miles away.”
Beatrix McGuinness, or Bea, or Trixie, is a short, cute, curvy redhead and Ava’s best friend. I’ve known her for almost as long as I’ve known Ava. The two of them seemed inseparable, constantly texting each other about ‘every little thing’, they went out for ‘girls’ nights’ or on shopping excursions together or whatever. Trixie and her fiancé, Joe, would often double-date with us, or come over for cookouts, scrabble tournaments, or just to hang out together. She has a quality that I don’t have a label for, something about her just makes me want to take care of her, something in addition to her bubbly, youthful, honest personality. Well, I should say had.
About nine months ago, Joe was in an accident. I don’t know what caused him to swerve. Knowing his personality, I suspect something small and furry was in his path. He wrapped himself and his Kawasaki around a tree. I like to think he didn’t suffer. The Beatrix I knew until then died too. The brightness was gone from her eyes, she became introverted. She isolated herself physically and socially. These things are understandable, I could empathize, I felt her sadness, her grief. After all she lost someone she loved. I wanted to gather her up in my arms and make everything alright. I still wanted to take care of her, but I knew that other than supporting her, Ava and I really couldn’t help. She would have to come to terms with her loss. I mourned with her. I mourned the her she was. I knew she was under a lot of stress as well. Joe didn’t have much life insurance, it covered the funeral but there wasn’t much left over. Beatrix works as a teacher’s aide at a local primary school, I know it doesn’t pay well. With Joe’s income gone, I don’t know how she pays the rent.
“Look, the mountains aren’t going anywhere, why don’t you invite Bea to visit us for spring break? You two can have a slumber party, do each other’s toenails, whatever. You know, girl stuff. Or is she going to visit her folks?” I offered.
“Honey, I love you!” She said as she bounced out of her chair and to the other room to grab her phone. Momentarily I overheard one side of their conversation. I couldn’t make out every word but I could tell by Ava’s tone of voice that she was cajoling Bea in a good-natured way. She walked back as she was wrapping up her call. “…oh, seriously we both miss you and it was actually his idea, you won’t be imposing...”
“You won’t be imposing!” I added loudly enough for Beatrix to hear me on the other end of the call.
“You will? That’s great! Yes, we’ll color eggs and whatnot…it’ll be fun! Okay, see you soon! Bye!” Ava finished her call.
“She’s coming?” I asked.
“Yup!”
“I’m glad. How is she?”
"Still in a funk, I'm worried about her."
"Me too, but what can we do?"
"We'll have to wait for her to come around, be there for her when she's ready. Literally what else can we do?"
Beatrix came and stayed with us for the week. She participated in what 'events' we planned (decorating blown eggs, making omelettes, playing cards) but we could tell she was just being polite, she wasn't 'present'. She didn't talk about Joe. She moped. Ava and I talked about what our next step should be. Near the end of the break Ava made her an offer.
"Bea, it isn't good to be alone in that apartment of yours. why don't you just stay with us for a while? We have a bunch of empty rooms, I bet you could break your lease."
"I couldn't, I'd be in your way..."
"Nonsense." I interrupted. "Ava and I want to convert this place into a boarding house, you could be a 'practice tenant' for us, you'd be helping us out. Besides the rent here is cheap, whip the landscaping into shape and you can stay for free. Please, Trixie my Pixie, I hate doing the yard work and I don't know how to be a landlord yet."
"But my stuff..." Bea protested.
"Bring the essencials, from what's left put the stuff you care about in storage and sell the rest. If you don't like it here, we'll help you find a new place, we'll even help you find a roommate if you want."
"Let me think it over, okay?"
"Sure."
Eventually, she came around to the idea and Ava helped her place ads on Craigslist to sell off her IKEA kitchen set and a few other things. I rented a U-Haul and helped her move in. We had our first 'tenant'.
For a few weeks after she moved in, she rarely left her room. When she did it was to eat or work, just the essentials. She moped. Her progress seemed to be sliding backwards since spring break. Ava started her on 'gardening therapy' and afternoons when I came home from work I was greeted by Beatrix working in the yard; planting flowers, or pulling weeds. My greeting of 'How's Trix?' would be answered with a 'working hard' or 'keeping busy'. Not even an 'ok', but at least she was talking, and out of her room.
The seasons progressed into summer, the front of the house was starting to look like a well manicured English garden. Beatrix was starting to come out of her shell, spending time with us at dinner and after, engaging in conversations. She was still profoundly sad, but not antisocial. On the anniversary of Joe's death, we all went to visit his grave. That evening Ava and Beatrix stayed up late talking. I went to bed while they were still in conversation, I was awakened when I heard Bea get out of our bed to go to the bathroom (apparently they continued their talk in bed). I asked Ava if they'd be more comfortable if I slept somewhere else, she assured me is wasn't necessary. A while later I remember reaching over Ava to rub Beatrix's back as she wept, in an attempt to console her.
In the following few weeks, as often as not, Bea shared our bed. Sometimes we just all went to bed at the same time; sometimes, she'd climb in in the middle of the night. Always we all snuggled, entirely 'rated G'.
One morning in late July or early August, a sunbeam woke me up. Beatrix was in my arms . She must've felt me stir, she looked up at me. I whispered:
"How's my pixie, Trixie?"
"Snuggly, warm, still sleepy, hungry."
"She's cuddly and darn cute too, even first thing in the morning." She gave me a squeeze, and I saw a hint of a smile. My heart skipped a beat. I might've fallen for her right then. "Would you like waffles?" I asked
"I would, but not yet, I'm comfy. Hold me for a while."
I resisted the urge to kiss her.
Aound that time, when classes were about to start; Ava (to my delight) became more amorous. She still wasn't interested in anything beyond '1st base' but, it was wonderful. We'd go to bed and neck until we heard Beatrix walking down the hall. She must've caught us once, because she started making extra noise before coming to our room.
One evening I'd gone to bed before the girls. I was at the point when my limbs were heavy and I was on the edge of drifting off when I felt someone slide in next to me. I leaned over to give her a kiss and got a face full of hair instead. Her hair smelt delightfully of strawberries. She must've just taken a shower. I leaned in and embraced her, her skin was delightfully smooth, had she lotioned herself after bathing? I slid my hands down her back and cupped underneath.
I said, "You smell wonderful." I thought, "I want you."
"Why, thank you." She replied, as she snuggled into my embrace.
Ava whispered something in my ear, I didn't catch what she said. A wave of guilt overcame me. Ava's voice came from behind me, it wasn't her backside I as fondling. I turned my head in Ava's direction and said:
"I'm sorry honey, I was half asleep and wasn't thinking straight, what did you say?"
"I said to take care of her, she needs this, I think both of you do."
"What? Wait...what?"
"Sometimes I think you must be made of lead, you are so dense. A naked woman is in bed with you, she's feeling frisky, and I just told you to take care of her. Have fun. We'll chat in the morning." She mussed my hair and started to walk away, she and Trixie exchanged waves. I noticed how great she looked, silhouetted in the doorway, wearing her sheer nightgown. Part of me involuntarily responded.
"I felt that." Trixie said.
"Hmm...what?" I didn't get much of a chance to reply before she climbed on me and our lips overlapped.
"Jake, I know it isn't fair of me to ask, but, I need you to love me tonight."
"I can't just turn that on and off."
"Could you try for me? Pretend if you have to? I'm tired of walking around like I'm a ghost, watching my own life from the outside. The other day I finally felt something, being held by someone I cared about, I finally felt... I don't know how to say this, alive? human? like a person and not a puppet? Like a woman. I need to see if I can get more of that, and I need it from someone I can trust."
"You feel like a woman to me." I joked as I squeezed her a little tighter. "But seriously, I don't know if I can."
"I think you can, judging by how you're poking me."
"It's difficult for me to explain, and I feel guilty, can you be patient with me for a minute? I have more than one concern."
"Okay."
"Obviously I want to, that isn't the problem. You are wonderful, and attractive, and cuddly, and nice, and I love you."
"But..." She prompted.
"But, I feel like I'm being unfaithful."
"Ava and I talked, she knows what we'll be doing, It was her idea to see if this helps me, and she wants to give this to you. She knows that things have been difficult. This is like a gift from her for both of us. You are not cheating."
"That's not it. In theory, two people can be together and just be friends or acquaintances even, and still be partners in bed. I've never done that. That's what I meant when I said 'I couldn't turn it on and off', not now. One day not too long ago, someone woke up in my arms and smiled up at me and I fell for her, and now I want her to stay with me. Ava doesn't know that I'm in love with you. I can't just have sex with you like Ava gave the 'green light' to. Making love with you would be cheating on her because she doesn't know how I feel."
"Ava's right you are dense."
"What?"
"Of course she knows."
"How could she know? I wasn't sure I knew until just now."
"Because she loves you, and she knows you better than you know yourself."
"I don't understand."
"You're still in love with Ava, right? Do you love her any less than you did five minutes ago, or five months ago?"
I thought for a moment. "No, my feelings for her haven't changed. If anything I am grateful to her for this."
"Like I said, we talked about this, she knows we're in love."
"Wait, we are in love?"
"Ever since I woke up in your arms and you offered to make me waffles. Well sometime before that, but that's when I admitted it to myself."
"but..but...oh, that makes me so happy, but..."
"Jake, you're making this more difficult than it needs to be. I'm not an expert, but I have siblings. There is no doubt that my parents and grandparents love us all, why would you think you could only love one woman? Or that only one woman could love you? If love worked that way no one would be able to to have more than one child."
"I never thought about that, I am only child, and technically an orphan."
"Jake, we can have a deep philosophical discussion about this some other time. For tonight, less talking, more kissing."
....
After a few moments she asked: "So, you said you want me to stay?"
"As long as you want."
"Forever?"
"I would like that. Still, tonight we can't go any further, and I still feel guilty."
"Why not?"
"I've had quite a 'dry spell', I'm pretty sure I don't have a condom that isn't expired."
"I'm on the pill, that's one problem solved. Why do you still feel guilty?"
"I started before Ava gave her 'go ahead', I knew it was your lovely posterior I was fondling, and not Ava's. Your heights are different, I recognized the scent of your shampoo, you cuddle differently. There was no doubt in my mind who was with me. Before tonight, I was resisting crossing a line for a while. When you snuggled up, even though I realized is was you and not Ava, I didn't stop."
"I guess I'm flattered? I never thought I would be by someone grabbing my ass in the dark."
"It's a great ass, I don't regret that part."
"I think she'll forgive you, considering..." She said as we went past the point of merely being friends, and became lovers.
"I love you, Trixie my pixie."
That morning in August, a sunbeam woke me up. My lover, Beatrix, was in my arms . She must've felt me stir, she looked up at me. I whispered:
"How's my pixie, Trixie?"
"Snuggly, warm, still sleepy, hungry."
"She's cuddly and darn cute too, even first thing in the morning." She gave me a squeeze, and I saw a warm smile. My heart skipped a beat. I might've fallen for her, all over again. "I love you, would you like waffles?" I asked
"I would, but not yet, I'm comfy. Hold me for a while."
I gave in to the urge to kiss her, she returned my affections. After a few minutes, she got out of bed, put on Ava's robe and rolled up the sleeves.
"I'm going to make breakfast. Do you want eggs too? or just waffles?" she asked.
"Both, and bacon, lots and lots of bacon!"
"Okay!.... la-la,la,la,la..."
She skipped out of the room, singing a nonsense tune. I went to brush my teeth and took a shower. Ava was sitting on the bed when I walked back into the bedroom, still using a towel on my hair.
"You're a good boy!" She said with a grin, "Our Trixie is so happy! She's humming, she's skipping! Come here, I have something for you." She pulled me towards her by the towel around my waist. She guided me down to a kiss, one hand on the nape of my neck, the other casting the towel aside.
"Mmmm" she cooed, "Be quick!"
"Really?"
"I am so worked up right now, I'm not going to last. Besides, I don't want my breakfast to get cold."
....
That Saturday the three of us tried to make up for the previous year or so of being abstinent. Bea and Ava took turns with me, I did my best to keep up. (I couldn't, I'm only human) Once I saw them exchange a 'high five' as Bea was leaving the bedroom and Ava was entering. I was literally being tag-teamed. Several hours after breakfast, it was Trixie's 'turn'. She a was astride my waist, we were necking. Because of our height difference; when our faces aligned, the rest of us didn't. I considered this a feature, not a bug. I loved kissing her and not having to stretch to reach her backside.
"I'm sorry, Trixie, my pixie. The spirit is willing but...Maybe, I just need some time, and maybe some lunch?" I apologized, the two of them had worn me out.
"Don't be sorry, I'm having so much fun. I'm happy smooching."
"Me too." I was occupied, so I didn't notice when Ava joined us in bed. I did notice when she started using her lips and tongue on me.
"Oh, gods in heaven, this is incredible!" I said.
"Eh?" Bea hadn't yet realized what was going on.
"Scooch back, sweetie" Ava said as she guided me into Bea. "See, you're not too tired, Jakey." then her lips took Bea's place on mine.
"You two are going to kill me, it's just too much, but this is how I want to go."
Some minutes later, they switched (they were 'finishing' before me)
"Relax Jake, I'm doing all the work now" Ava told me from her perch.
I didn't respond, I was busy smooching with Bea...I blacked out sometime later, completely, blissfully, spent.
....
"It's one of the downsides of living in a small town" I said. "Everyone knows your business. I guess we'll have to 'tone it down'. Personally I feel ten feet tall, I'd like to brag about how in love with both of you I am, but people talk, and that talk can have negative effects on our jobs."
"Busybodies!" Ava said, as a curse.
"Busybodies on school boards and tenure committees." I replied.
"You need more tenants for your boarding house." Bea added. "Then no one will give us a second glance."
"I'd been putting off placing those ads, I guess it's time."
I placed ads in the local newspaper and on Craigslist. We hadn't gotten any solid candidates before Bea threw gasoline on the fire, a couple weeks later.
"Let's have a baby." She said out of the blue, one afternoon.
"I'd like that. Now? But, what will the neighbors think when you start to show? Maybe we need to build a cover story."
"No, silly. not 'now' but sometime soon. I'd like to have a baby for you and Ava to raise. I'll be 'Auntie Trixie'. We'll think of something for a cover."
"That might be the kindest thing I've ever heard, that you'd give up a child for Ava and I. I can't... I couldn't let you do that."
"Why not? I know you and Ava talked about having kids. I know that Ava was crushed when she had to have that surgery, what that meant. I love you both, I want to do this for you."
"I couldn't, I'm not sure how to phrase this, It'd be too complicated?"
"Complicated? no, it'd be easy. I stop taking my pills, we do what we do, and nine months later, a baby's here."
"That's not what I meant. I love you and when we have a child, he or she will remind me of you, they will look like you, they may have mannerisms that you have. Oh, they'll be sooo cute! I would not be able to separate my love for you and my love for them. I couldn't raise them as if you were not their mother."
"Oh, Jake, that makes me feel all squishy, I love you. Dammit, why does this have to be so complicated?"
"I'm not sure if it'll work, but after you and I have a baby, maybe you can carry one for Ava."
"You just said..."
"One of Ava's ovaries is still functional, she still pops an egg every month, or every other month. Maybe if we do in vitro, after we make 'Trixie junior', you can carry for Ava and I."
"Oh, that's different. And you are greedy! You want a baby for Ava and one from me."
"Did I say only one?"
"You are terrible, and I love you."
"You know, we should practice, this whole making babies thing. Make sure we're doing it correctly"
"You're supposed to be making dinner."
"Then we'd better hurry. If Ava gets home before we're done, she's likely to kick you out and take over!"
She ran upstairs, leaving a trail of clothes in her wake. I didn't get around to making dinner. Ava kindly let us finish before we ordered Chinese food.
....
Not long after, we took on our first paying tenant. Ironically she used to live in the neighborhood. We were friends as kids. Ava, Trixie and I decided to keep our unique relationship on the 'down low'. We didn't want to scare our tenant away and we hoped that we'd still be able to fill the empty rooms.
Bea decided to go and visit her folks for a couple of weeks. She was going to move some of her stuff into 'storage' there and while she was at it do some antique shopping to add 'ambiance' to our home. She promised to be back by Independence Day. While she was away, I hired our live in maid, a young Japanese national from a service agency. Well I sort of hired her, she pretty much hired herself. I need to explain some background in order to make any sense of what happened. How she managed to be with us.
....
For as long as I can remember I’ve been a fan of Japanese culture. Not just the history; Bushido and samurais and all that, but pop culture too. When I was a kid, on weekends I watched poorly dubbed episodes of Ultraman and 'Kaijū' (giant monster) movies on the UHF channel, and Anime like Speed Racer and Star Blazers after school. I'd read manga at the local comic book store until they'd kick me out. So, it was an easy choice for me as to where I wanted to spend my sabbatical between earning my master's and starting my doctoral studies, (five years ago) I spent a month in Japan.
It was glorious. I enjoyed being a fish out of water. Japan was so different that visiting Europe, it felt more foreign. More so than even Africa did. I wished (multiple times) that I spent more time learning to speak Japanese. I'd learned enough to barely be polite, to order meals, ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ but not much else.
For the final leg of my trip, I was following the 'golden route' between Tokyo and Kyoto, before flying home out of Osaka. Going out of my way to do it slowly, stopping at small towns on the way. Gotemba was a resort town that served tourists visiting Hakone National Park, Mount Fuji, or the shopping outlet near the edge of town. I stayed just outside of Gotemba in a small, traditional inn (ryokan, see note 1), one of several that featured baths fed by the local hot springs, and that offered traditional accommodations and meals. After the dizzying pace in Tokyo, the peaceful, low-tech ryokan was just what the doctor ordered. I spent my days visiting the local sites, after breakfast in my room. Returning in time for the evening meal and a bath. I was convinced the pretty, petite room attendant (Nakai-san, see note 2) was psychic. She always seemed to be at my elbow when I needed something; towels or tea or help tying my yukata, (see note 3) correctly. She transformed my room after serving me my dinner, a futon replacing the low dining table and legless chair, seemingly magically, while I had a soak in the cedar-wood bathtub just outside. I would muse to myself how wonderful it would be to have her join me in my bath, or scrub my back, or keep me warm while I slept. I developed a bit of a crush on her. I loved having her around. I probably spent more time at the ryokan that I needed to, just so I could be with her. She tolerated my terrible Japanese with a polite nod whenever I asked for something. I didn’t think she spoke any English, all too soon I was getting ready to check out:
<in broken Japanese> “Nakai-san, it was a pleasure being taken care of by you, thank you for making my stay pleasant, I…”
I got frustrated. I said the rest in English, even though I didn’t believe she’d understand me:
“I’m sorry, I wish I spoke more Japanese so that I could tell you what I am feeling. I think you’re beautiful, I may have fallen for you. I hate that I must leave now, as I looked forward to seeing you when I awoke in the mornings here, and I’ve dreamed about you, as your lovely face is that last thing I see before going to sleep. I wish I could stay longer, that we had more time, that we had a chance to get to know each other, or that I could take you with me. I wish I wasn’t such a coward, that I had the nerve to tell you all this earlier. Oh, I’m such a fool. I feel like a love-struck teenager, you have no idea what I’m saying and I don’t even know your name!”
“My name is Yamamoto Tsubaki” she said.
“Yamamoto-san or Tsubaki-san?” I asked.
“My friends call me Suzi, I would like it if you called me Suzi-chan.”
“I would like that too, Suzi-chan…wait you speak English!”
“Of course, everyone learns some English in school, and if one works in the hospitality industry, one should be proficient.” She giggled. She had a pretty smile. “Tell me again about the things you wish for. I haven’t been confessed to like this since high school.”
“Oh, I am so embarrassed, and so sorry. I wouldn’t have said those things if I knew you’d understand me.”
“But, I liked hearing them. Do not be shy now, when you were so bold before, with your suggestions that we bathe together or sleep together. I am not opposed, but we should go on some dates first. Would you like to come home with me and meet my family? Or go somewhere else?”
“I said those things out loud?! I am even more embarrassed.”
“It is alright, you did not do anything inappropriate. I appreciate that you tried so hard to speak Japanese for my sake, you looked so cute with your brow furrowed in concentration, so serious! Some inner thoughts just leaked out. I have had guests be much ruder than that. Some salarymen do not know how to keep their hands to themselves, you were always so polite.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I was working, and I did not want to embarrass you, and I liked the attention. Tell me again how pretty you think I am.”
“So, it’s okay to embarrass me now?! I’ll spank your pretty little bottom until it’s all pink!”
She turned and bowed.
“Do you promise? I await my punishment, Goshujin-sama." (see note 4)
“Cut it out Suzi-chan. I was kidding.”
She turned back around, she was blushing.
“Well, now that you are checking out where are we going? I can take the next few days off and go on those dates we spoke of.”
“I can’t Suzi-chan, I’m only in Japan for a few more days.”
“Should we not enjoy viewing cherry blossoms because they will only last a few days?”
“I can’t, because I’m a coward. I’m afraid that if we start a relationship now, it will end with me having a broken heart or worse. I know it isn’t fair of me to say this but I’ve done that before and it still stings. I believe I hurt her too, I couldn’t bear it if I ended up hurting you. I could enjoy viewing cherry blossoms, even if the beauty is ephemeral, because I can look forward to seeing them again the following year. This isn’t like that. I’d feel I was abusing you. I know I’ll regret my decision either way; maybe I am weak, but I’d rather disappoint you now than risk hurting you later.”
“You are right, in that you will have regrets either way. I won’t easily forget you Goshujin-sama. Sayonara (Goodbye).”
....
Of course, I never expected to see her again
….
Phil Crenshaw is on the political science faculty at the college. Phil and I may not see eye to eye on several social issues but I’ve never actually seen him kick a puppy or steal from the poor box. I consider him an ‘all right’ guy even if I find some of his opinions reprehensible. (I did not ‘choose’ to be straight, why assert that some people ‘choose’ to be gay?) Two weeks ago, I went over to his place to pick up some paperwork for a career development seminar, of which we were on the committee.
I knocked on the frame of the screen door of his first-floor apartment. He yelled for me to come in without getting out of his recliner. He was having a beer and watching Fox “news”.
“Hey Jake, the folder is on the kitchen table. Would you like a beer or something while you’re here? Grab a seat…Hey Suzuki? Could you fetch a drink for my friend here?” The last comment was directed towards to woman washing dishes. She turned and our eyes met.
“Tea, if you have it Nakai-san” I said to her
“I would not serve you the tea that is available here, Goshujin-sama, I suggest either water or beer. And, please, to you I am Suzi.”
“Arigatou (Thank you), Suzi-chan, I’d like a beer. And it’s nice to see you again.”
She re-washed a tumbler, and put it on a tray with a bottle of Bud-lite (technically ‘beer’). She carried the tray over to where I was. In one fluid motion she placed the tray on the table and knelt. She then poured my beer. Her movements were graceful, I felt like I was at a tea ceremony. She presented the beer, and held the bottle, ready to top off my glass. I thanked her again with a nod.
“Just what is going on?!” Phil asked from the doorway. I imagine it looked odd, his housekeeper on her knees, serving me as if his kitchen was a hostess club. “Jake, you’re going to get me in trouble! Suzuki please!”
"Please what, Mr. Crenshaw? Am I doing something wrong? And as I’ve told you repeatedly, my name is Yamamoto Tsubaki, you may call me Ms. Yamamoto, not Suzuki” Suzi replied to him sternly, then sweetly to me she cooed, “Goshujin-sama, allow me. You must be thirsty.” Her hand brushed mine as she emptied the bottle, my heart skipped a beat.
“You always seem to know how to take care of me, thank you”
“Is there anything else I can do for you?” she asked.
I replied in broken Japanese, “Suzi-chan, it was a pleasure being taken care of by you, thank you for making my stay pleasant.” Then in English. “It was nice to see you, how is it that you are here? Centerville of all places? I thought I’d never see you again”
“Some time ago the Ryokan closed, I was unemployed. I took a job with an agency that places housekeepers overseas and I ended up here after a few placements. Fate is strange, I thought you lived in Massachusetts?”
“I did, five years ago. But I grew up here, and I live here now.”
“Ahem.” Phil coughed into his hand. “Are you two done flirting on my dime?”
“Mr. Crenshaw, I had completed my duties some time ago, waiting on your guest I did as a courtesy as it is outside of my job description. Since you seem to be unsatisfied with my job performance, perhaps it is best I retire for the evening.” She gracefully rose from her kneeling position, as if gravity didn’t apply to her. “Excuse me for leaving first, it was a pleasure to see you Goshujin-sama.”
“Goodnight.”
She bowed and left, a moment later I heard the screen door close behind her.
“I just don’t understand women” Phil offered as he finished his beer.
“Neither do I, Phil. It looks like it’s time for me to be going home as well, goodnight.”
....
A few days later, I stepped to the front entrance of the house, I had my key out, approaching the lock. When the door opened and I was greeted by Suzi in a stereotypical but conservative maid uniform; a dark blue dress with a white bodice and apron edged with understated lacy frills. It covered her from neck to knees, she looked not at all like a cos-player, she looked like a maid, a very cute maid. I was surprised, frozen in place, agape, my hand still holding my keys hovering where the lock should be.
“Okaerinasai, anata! Gohan wo taberu? Ofuro ni suru? Soretomo, wa. ta. shi?” (see note 5) she asked, seductively.
I couldn’t respond. She tugged on my sleeve and led me inside, and to the couch. Once I sat, she gently lifted my chin and wiped the corner of my mouth with her thumb. I saw her pour tea, she waited for some of the fog to clear from my brain before passing me the cup. It tasted like I remembered form my time in Japan, just how I liked it: not too strong, not too hot, no sugar.
“Arigatou, Suzi-chan, the tea is perfect.” I realized that, without my noticing, she had removed my shoes. I was still in a daze “I am pleasantly surprised to see you, when did you become my maid?”
“I have started today, I am yours. It will be official as soon as you fill out the paperwork.”
“I can’t afford you.”
“It does not matter, I will be returning my salary to our family account. I will work for room and board.”
“You don’t understand. I don’t have a room for you, no furniture…”
“I need to maintain employment for my VISA, I do not need anything else. I do not need a room, I can sleep on the floor, or your bed is big, I could sleep with you and Miss Ava.”
“Oh, Bea will not like that.” I responded under my breath, awakened from my daze.
“What was that, Goshujin-sama?”
“I was thinking aloud, sorry. I don’t get it Suzi-chan, why did you quit your other placement? What happened with Phil Crenshaw? Did he mistreat you in some way? If he did...”
“No, Goshujin-sama, he is harmless, but I have decided that I will have no master but you.” She said as she again filled my cup.
“What?”
“When I first served you in Gotemba, something happened, I don’t know the words…I was so content? Fulfilled by addressing your everyday needs. I felt like I was what I was meant to be. I felt I could not go home: I waited for you to awaken in the morning, I listened for you to fall asleep at night. I waited anxiously for you to return when you went out for your walks. I was charmed by the attention you paid me. Then you confessed to me. Something else happened, something mysterious, once you were gone, I felt a longing for you. There was a hole in my life where you used to be, I wanted you back. When I saw you at my former employer’s apartment, I felt it again, that contentment? I knew what I had to do. I knew where I needed to be. I still do not understand it, but that is how it is.”
“Suzi-chan, you know that doesn’t sound like something that actually happens, right? It isn’t healthy for you to have gotten so attached to me, I am not worthy and you shouldn’t feel that you need me in your life to be happy. It was wonderful in Gotemba and I’m sorry. I didn’t intend to… I mean, that’s why I left the way I did. I shouldn’t have confessed to you, I couldn’t have a relationship with you then, when I knew I would leave after a few days. I would have been cruel to leave you and we’d both be sad. Here we are again, I don’t want to hurt you. It might be for the best if you find another placement…”
“It does not matter…”
“We’re out of bread and some other things.” Ava called from the kitchen, unaware of the conversation Suzi and I were having. She then walked into the parlor where I was sitting on the couch. “I’m running to the store, if you think of anything else we need, text me. Oh, and good job finding us some help, Suzi’s great! See you soon.” she gave me a peck on the cheek and headed out the door, I didn’t get a chance to respond.
“Goshujin-sama, it does not matter. Miss Ava is ‘first wife’, I will be your girl on the side. I will convince her to share...”
“What?!”
“I do not care that you are ‘not available’, if there isn’t room in your heart for me. I will still be content just being with you. I will serve you, I will clean your house and cook your meals… Let me greet you when you come home from work… I will scrub your back in the bath, at night I’ll keep you warm in bed, and whatever else you want of me. I’ll be your toy, make me your plaything. You can do anything to my body, order me to do anything to yours, the things that Miss Ava will not do. Make me your possession, your servant, your anything. Name it and I am yours. The touch of your hand the other day stoked those embers within me, I have ached with the longing for you, for years. Please, Master.”
I was starting to get scared. This did not sound healthy, or rational. "I can’t, we can’t…. This is too much...we barely spoke before now, we had some pleasant time together but nothing really happened! Where did this come from?”
“I do not know, it is like a spell was cast on me, and I could not get thoughts of you out of my head; everyday thoughts, ordinary thoughts, lewd thoughts. For years you were present in my dreams, on my mind. I tried to forget you, or to overwrite your influence on me. I am sorry, I have even tried to be with other men. I tried; but, when I was with them I could only think of you. I know it is not fair of me to ask, I may be a terrible person, but I need you to fulfill your promise to me, to punish me. Please Master…I am on fire.”
I was dumbfounded, I didn’t even realize when she took away my teacup and then laid across my lap. “Please what?”
“Please, Master…” She pulled up her skirt and raised her hips. “Until it is all pink…please.” she begged.
My hand seemed to move of its own volition. I spanked her. Each clap caused a squeal to escape her, each louder than the last. After a dozen I stopped. She was quivering and sobbing. “What have I done? Oh, Suzi I am so sorry!”
“Please, Master...” She guided my hand to where she wanted it to be, she kept her hand over mine, pressing my fingers.
Moments later she was huddled in my embrace. Clutching my shirt, and weeping on my chest. “I’m sorry, Suzi. I’m so sorry, I don’t know what came over me, I didn’t mean to do it. I didn’t want to hurt you. Please stop crying.” I tried to console her, as I stroked her hair.
She looked up to me, took my hand, and started kissing it: the palm, each fingertip, all received little kisses. “You do not understand, Master, I am not hurt, I am elated! You have made your servant so happy.” She held my hand against her cheek, still slick with tears. “My tears are from joy and relief. Maybe it is finally over. My life had been torturous. I knew exactly what was missing, what caused me to ache with longing: my master’s touch, but, I had no way to get it. Somehow that promise you made smoldered within me. Now that I found you, I can finally be happy. It is like a weight has been lifted from me. Thank you, Master, thank you!”
“Suzi-chan, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I did that caused you to suffer so much anguish, but I feel responsible, so...”
“Thank you, Master.”
“Suzi, please, I feel so guilty, please don’t call me ‘Master’.”
“Yes, Mast…um, Goshujin-sama, does that mean I can stay with you?”
“I’ll get some furniture, and set up a room for you, you must not come to my bed.”
“If Miss Ava…”
“No, you must not ask that of Ava, please, I can’t…can’t you, I mean for now can you just be the maid?”
“Yes, Goshujin-sama, I said that I can be anything for you.”
“Thank you, Suzi, I don’t know what to do. I’d like it if we were friends. I hope you understand that that we just did, what I just did to you, we shouldn’t have. You didn’t do anything wrong, it’s not your fault. I’ll tell Ava about it, I don’t know how yet. But, until I do, can you wait? Put off telling her?”
“Of course, Goshujin-sama. Is there anything else?”
I noticed she was uncomfortable. “Are you alright?” I asked, concerned.
“Yes, Goshujin-sama, I am well; however, before Miss Ava gets back, I’d like to change, you…um… I…my panties are soaked.”
“Please, Suzi, go ahead.”
She rushed upstairs somewhere, I noted that my pant leg was also wet where she sat on me. I ran upstairs to wash up and change. I had just put on a fresh pair of jeans when I heard the door opening. I rushed down before I had a chance to change my shirt.
“Let me help with the bags.” I said to Ava as she came in.
“Thanks.” We quickly put the groceries away. “Hey what’s on your shirt? Did one of the cartons leak something?”
“Actually, it’s tears. Suzi was crying, I tried to console her.”
“Is she homesick?”
“I don’t know, maybe.”
“Well, it’s a nice thing, to try and take care of her.” She gave me a kiss, that rapidly deepened. Before I knew it, we had worked our way to the couch in the parlor, each of us in a different state of undress. “Ava, not that I don’t like it, but what’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing yet, and nothing will as long as you still have those jeans on, lose ‘em!” She demanded. I complied. “There’s something, is it your cologne? it’s driving me wild!”
“I’m not wearing any.”
“Then there’s something about the maid’s perfume on you….”
Notes:
1) Ryokan: A traditional/rustic Japanese inn. Often combines services of a hotel, restaurant, and bathhouse. Known for being low tech, may have traditional rooms with reed mats for floor coverings, paper room partitions, futons on the floor for sleeping instead of beds. Often meals are served in the rooms. These inns are for relaxing, at a slow pace. They often purposely lack some modern amenities like telephones, TV’s, entertainment etc.
2) Nakai-san: literally translates as “Ms. Room Attendant” it is considered polite to refer to people in the service industry my job title and appending the appropriate honorific. i.e. ‘Mr. Shopkeeper, Ms. Manager’. The honorific “-san” for all practical purposes is neutral. Not overly formal nor making a statement of rank/status. “-chan” is sort of a ‘sweet’ or baby-talk way of saying “-san” most common towards girls or children, more familiar/affectionate than ‘san’.
3) Yukata: resort wear loaned to guests at Ryokan or Onsen (hot spring/bathhouse). Consists of loose pants and a robe, belted at the waist. Typically worn by all guests.
4) Goshujin-sama: translates as ‘master’. The honorific ‘-sama’ denotes referring to one of higher rank. Like a knight being ‘Sir’. In this context, Suzi maybe riffing on how customers are greeted at a maid-café, or engaging in playful submissiveness. Goshujin-sama is how a maid/butler/servant would address their employer (the Master of the house) or it is also an old-fashioned way of referring to one’s husband.
5) “Okaerinasai, anata! Gohan wo taberu? Ofuro ni suru? Soretomo, wa. ta. shi?” roughly translates as “Welcome home dear! Would you like dinner? A bath? Or perhaps… me?” It’s a cliché in anime/manga and romantic comedies in Japan (and elsewhere). The greeting is often delivered by a newlywed wife (or other love interest) to her husband (or boyfriend/whatever) as he comes home from work, with seductive emphasis on the disjointed “watashi” (me). It would be a cliché within the cliché if she delivers the line while only wearing an apron. A similar cliché greeting would be “Okaerinasaimase, Goshujin-sama”, (“Welcome home, Master”, or “Welcome back, Master”). A greeting that customers receive at a Maid Café or cosplay restaurant, based upon stereotypical greeting servants would deliver to their wealthy employer.
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